Quotes

"It is not in the stars that hold our destiny but in ourselves."

Saturday, July 30, 2011

I feel lucky like a four-leaf clover

Today, before we set out on our journey to Malacca, dad packed the car on the roadside and said ''Breakfast!'' .. We all took our time getting down from the car when dad said ''Hurry hurry, we gotta get out of here before the police comes!'' .. When we entered the restaurant and sat at a table, we realised that the table behind us was filled with more than 10 policemen, laughing and drinking coffee.

HAHAHA .. :D

And then after breakfast, we got out heading towards the car, I realised abi & arvind were not doing the 'left right left' rule, I stopped them and gave them a lecture about it and said ''A dangerous vehicle could have just killed you!'' when an old man on a bicycle passed by slooowwwwllllyyyyy..

HA HA HA ==

The rest of the journey was filled with moments like these two.

Sigh, tired. Goodnight!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I loved this word ever since forever before I watched the movie


Serendipity


Sara : You don't have to understand. You just have to have faith.
Jonathan :
Faith in what?
Sara : D
estiny.


Haven't watched this in ages.
One of my all time favourites.

And no, nobody died. :)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

No matter what.

Talking about her dilemma about going to Egypt and staying in CUCMS, Husna confessed and said she wants both. And that's why it was tough for her to decide.

That made me realise, that I want both too.
I want to stay in CUCMS, but I WANT to go to AIMST.

I want to stay in CUCMS because I love it there. The place, the system, and most of all the people. It already feels like home.

But then a part of me knows that, I will never grow up if I stay in CUCMS. I would still go home every week, my parents could come get me whenever I want, I would not learn to be by myself because I'll always be in good hands.

And being in the medical field, or any other field for that matter, one needs to be independent. Especially during housemanship when they're just gonna post us doctors to any hospitals around the country. And looking at myself now, I know I'm not ready for that.

I'm still afraid to cross roads on my own. I get nervous when I talk to strangers, even when it just involves buying food or asking for directions. I'd always get my family or my friends to do it. And because they love me, they do it anyways. But when I think about it, that's just spoiling me.
And they're not to be blamed.

If I were to go to Kedah, I'd be on my own. I would start fending for myself, and my family would be 6 hours away to come get me if I had any problems.

I know that this is what I need to do. Because I WANT to grow up.

It's like a bird, who can only learn how to fly if it's pushed out of it's nest.

So yeah, I want both.

The first choice CUCMS because of its familiarity and warmth.
The second choice AIMST is because of it's mystery, that I know I can use to make myself a better person, something that I won't be able to learn in CUCMS.

I think that's the reason why I was not strong on my argument during the discussion with my family. If I had said firmly that I wanted to stay in CUCMS, they would have let me. But I did not. They kept telling the the pro's of AISMT and eventhough I did not say it out loud, I do agree with them.

When I think about it again, I guess I don't mind the long distance, the starting over, fitting in again, getting used to the new environment, if this is what I need to grow up.

This is EXACTLY what I need.
And I'm heading there. Head on. No regrets.

If I had entered AIMST during foundation, I knew it would have been roughed on me. The way I look at it, CUCMS gave me a great stepping stone. My entire foundation year was filled with up's and down's. Loosing friends, loosing trusts, adjusting, making new friends, learning to accept and be accepting, learning from differences.. It taught me a lot. And with this lessons learned, I'm going to be able to use them for my upcoming experiences.

I was at the bank today for AIMST stuffs when I took a number. I looked at it and it said '1111' .. I thought to myself ''Ha, that does not happen everyday'' ..and when I sat down and looked at my watched, the time said ' 1. 11 p.m '. Now instead of looking away thinking ''coincidence'' , I had to go all ''OMG THIS IS FATE!'' .. haha.. I felt as if I was suppose to be there at that exact moment at that exact time. That no matter whatever mistakes I've made in the past, I was exactly where I was suppose to be, I was on the right track.

Yes, silly you might say. But I liked feeling that way. :)

So yeah, no matter what, this is the decision I make today, and I will stick to it.

Come what may.



No matter what. :)

Monday, July 25, 2011

These past few weeks had been fun.

Grace told me that I take things too seriously and that I should lay it off a little. Well, not a little but COMPLETELY. Like for once, not worry about anything. Not worry about people and hurting them, not worrying about my decisions affecting other people, just to live.

I find that selfish actually.
But she said I needed a break.

It was hard at first but then..I guess, like all things, we learn to get better.

And I've been doing just that these past few weeks.
Living carelessly.

It's great.
Everyday is just full of laughs.
We crashed here and there, did crazy things.
I met new people that Grace didn't like me meeting, had fights with her, haha..
Vi started of college, I started cooking.

Last night I dreamed of so many people. It was like a weird party.

I dreamed about my family, my cousins, vi, grace, patricia, praveena, matthew, some peeps I used to ride in the bus with, Harry Potter, reev, the little girl behind reev's house, joe's parents, my old van driver (??), the guard at Pudu Girl's School (??), a chef (??)..

oh, and a puppy. :)

Okay, well, back to my interesting weeks.
I like it, not having to care.

And when I hear a tiny voice at the back of my head worrying, I shut it off. :)

I know these have consequences.
I haven't stop worrying about THAT though. :/

Yes I know, what's my point?

I am just so happy I have NO POINT whatsoever. :) :) :)

Yay me *claps* :)

Crappy post I know, hahaha.. :D

Sunday, July 24, 2011

:)


If you have a moment, head on over to youtube and searched for the video lyrics to the song ''Waiting on a Woman'' by Brad Paisley.

This song never fails to tear me up every time. :)


Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
''You waitin' on a woman?''
I nodded yeah and said, ''How 'bout you?''
He said, ''Son since nineteen fifty-two I've been
Waitin' on a woman.''

When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said, ''I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on.''
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah, she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

He said, ''The wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman.''
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, ''I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman.''

And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman...

Because there was a time, when it was you & me


''Promise me to think of us, as a time so beautiful.

Promise me to think of us, still bright, still colourful

Promise me to look back at us, as a time in your life, you enjoyed''

Just.

Just random pictures in my phone. :)

Arvindra sleeping. Interesting to watch. And disturb ;)

Arun, blurring out seriously. One of a kind talent haha..


Kumar mama's newborn baby, Kirshanth. :) Aww he's so adorable. :) He was staring DIRECTLY at me with that blur expression when I took that picture..haha..


The party packs I made for Arvind's birthday. With the short notice, I had to make do with everything I had in the house, and that is A4 papers, pens, glitters and ribbons. Look's pretty decent eh? haha :)

A baby I met at a dinner party. OMG he's so cute. I call him SUMO :) Cause well, he looks like one :))) Andd instead of being throwing punches, he likes to give kisses :) Aww.. :)


One of my fav photos of Arvind. Acting cute in the hotel pool :P That blue thingy helps him float. He's afraid of the water.


At a dinner. I had to babysit like around 10 kids. This is one picture before they took my handphone and ran around posing as if it's America's Next Top Model.

Was watching Oprah at my grandparents when Abishek took this picture. It was one of those depressing episodes about abuse. :(



Friday, July 22, 2011

Gah.

Aimst won.

Leaving for Kedah in two weeks.

1. TAK NAK.
2. Damn.
3. TAKKK NAKKK.
4. Sigh
5. Okay :(

Gonna miss CUCMS.

Ughhhhh :( .. But I have to do my best for my parents.
And I will be ready, in time.

Think positive! :) :) :)

Ugh.

The Lovely Bones


I watched The Lovely Bones again today. I've always loved that movie. It wasn't as good as the book, of course, but still, I loved it. I liked the effects.

It's such a sad story. I can't even imagine how hard that would be. I mean, on both sides. On Susie's side. She was raped and murdered. Waking up one day, not knowing that it would be her last day to live her life. She was only 14 years old. So much that could have been done.
Then there was her family. Her poor father. He seemed so lost without his daughter. His first born. His own piece of him. I can't even imagine how hard it would be to lose a child so young. Then to live across the street from the man who took her from him. THEN, feeling like everyone is giving up on her and him.

It brings me to the thought, "What if you could wake up one day, and all the bad things would go away, and everything would just go right again?"

Every day is a new day, they say. But every day is affected by the day before.
Life can be like the domino effect. You spend a while trying to build it up, but it only takes one domino to fall to knock down them all. Then, once they've all fallen, you can choose to pick them all back up again, or walk away and leave them all on the floor.

Sometimes you get lucky though. Sometimes the line wasn't completely even, and one domino misses the other. So it doesn't take as long to put the rest back up again.

And the sad part is, I know if I got what I wanted all the time, there are other people that would lose what they have, what they love. I don't have the heart to take what they have in my own selfishness, because I know I wouldn't want that to happen to me.

Then, when there are people who don't understand how you're feeling and they think you're going crazy. They tell you to give up, because you'll never get what you want. That's the worst. No one wants reassurance that they'll never get that.

Helping them cope through it, and reminding them that things will get better again. That's what they want. To know that even though life may suck right now, it will get better.




"So in love, imagine 4 people in your life you'll truly love. Each for every letter in love. L-loser, O-overly done, V-very wrong, E-everything you ever wanted. But sometimes God has this weird way of messing with the spelling of love. So, if you're lucky your E may just follow your L. No matter what, it'll be an adventure you'll never forget."


-Tyler Christian Ballew

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Wake Me Up.

Dreamed something weird last night. And I'm going to drone on and on about it, so you can stop reading now if you want to :D

I dreamed that my college was having a carnival, except it was at my old school. My really OLD primary school, SK Seri Mega. All my college friends were there and we were all having fun, you know, the usual crazyness :)

At the end of the day we get to go on a ride, a HUGE ROLLER-COASTER, on top of the hill (at the back of Seri Mega school's field, there's a hill that is covered with greens). So after the carnival, we all hiked up the hill to head towards the roller-coaster?

(okay yes, I know some parts does not make sense :)

On the way up, we saw an empty chinese temple. But we ignored it and went higher up. I felt odd about the temple but ignored it, thinking about the roller-coaster. We finally reached the top and there was nothing there. So we decided to hike back down to the temple and ask anyone there.

When we entered the temple grounds, I was surprised, in a not good way. I dreamed about this temple, like 10 years ago, back when I was still living in Puchong. This temple is not a temple for the Gods, more like the temple for satan, or the pathway to hell or something. And they steal souls, until the people cease to disappear.

The last time I dreamed about this temple, I dreamed that my family went there for sightseeing, and they disappeared. Many people were killed and stuffs. But I managed to convinced them to let my family and I go, as long as we don't tell this to anyone. And in return, I had to promise them something.

I was befriended a little girl on my trip and I had to give her up. Because she was young, she had more 'life years' and energy in her, that they could make use of. I agreed.

And we left the temple, watching everyone disappearing.
Watching the girl being left behind.

I woke up from that dream feeling so guilty, I was depressed for DAYS.

Anyways, back to last night's dream, I was back to the same temple. Except, in my previous dream, the temple was full of people. But in this dream, the temple was empty. Other than the detailed characteristics, it looks like it had aged. Like 10 years.

I said to everyone ''I bet this is not it, let's go'' but Mero said let's just go check it out. She and Priyaa led the group towards a corner place where there was a souvenir shop. Izuddin said ''Eee mcm ada hantu je'' .. and everyone told him to shut up. I kept quiet trying to think if this was the same place, if it was going to happen again.

When we entered the souvenir shop, it was surprisingly new. Inside, there were three people. Two of them were the exact people from my previous dream! .. When I walked in, they smiled at me, as if they knew me from before, but quickly turned to my friends and asked them ''How may I help you?'' .. Fashli asked for the entrance to the roller-coaster and the guy said its through here but we have to wait for a while.

Priyaa then found a cool toy camera (??) and started playing around with it. Everyone started filling around the shop, looking at things to buy. Vino asked me why I look so weird but I said nothing.

As I look around the shop, it started to get weird. I kept getting flashes. For a while it would seem like my friends were browsing around and marvelling at all the things in the shop but the next thing, I'd see an empty shop, with my friends holding nothing but fully believing that they were holding something. The flashes kept going on and off for so long, I realised it was because I knew the truth, that this place is not real, and we had to get out of here, fast.

I turned and saw Mr.Shahril, working there. He smiled and told me there was nothing to worry about. I thought to myself, they're probably digging at our memory, trying to find a leader, a teacher that we trust easily, and found him. Because why on earth would Mr.Shahril be working at the Chinese temple? ..It made no sense. He just smiled at me and never took his eyes off me.

I told everyone ''Hey, let's go out for a second! We can look around!'' cheerfully and lead them out. Once out, I told them ''Let's get out of here, we can come back later with out lecturers or something :D'' .. Youwannia asked me what's wrong and why do I look so worried. I tried to hide it because I remembered, I was not suppose to say anything. That was as promised before.

I then said ''No, it's just this wait may take long so why not we go and get our lecturers or something? It will be more fun! :D'' ..Mero said she's lazy to go all the way back down and then come back up. Meera said the same thing too, and then she said 'JOM MASUK BALIK! SHOPPINGGG'' .. and practically half of the crowd went back in.

I turned around and saw a girl, standing, watching, from at the other end of the temple. I asked my friends ''Can you see her?'' and they all went '' um....who?'' ..

I started arguing and I can tell they got fed up. Taranya finally told me that if I want to, I can go call the lecturers myself. =='' And they stomp back in. Angrily. Annoyed. I couldn't tell. I was too worried I guess.

Vino and Renee told me they would follow me down if I want. I looked around and when I saw the girl again, the one whose soul I exchanged for my own and my family, I said ''Okay''.

On our way down, I kept turning back to see if the temple was there. It was, alright.
Till we reached the office, but when we came back out, it wasn't.

The entry to the roller-coaster was on some other side.
There was no route to a temple.
There was no temple.

The next day, the papers reported of more than 20 people went missing.
Without a trace.

Grrr.. I couldn't wake up today morning because I was so sleepy.
Dreams like this exhaust me.

And it amazes me, that I can still dream of the same thing more than 10 years later. The temple, the people, the details, were all so accurate.
Consciously, all this has long been forgotten.

But subconsciously, I guess the brain keeps track of everything..
Even weird dreams.

OMG GUILTY FEELING MUCH ==''

Monday, July 18, 2011

Sunday, July 17, 2011

OMG

Watched the final Harry Potter movie and it was FANTASTIC! LOVED IT TO THE BITS WITH ALL OF THE PIECES OF MY HEART!!

And I didn't cry. I guess I lost all those tears crying for WEEKS after I finished reading the final Harry Potter book all those years ago. Now it's just heartwarming for me.

It literally defined my teenage life.

Lining up at 5am in the morning for the book release, being the first in line, then reading it on the bus to school and back to home. Falling in love with the story all over again. Crying to Grace when she tells me to get over it, it's not real. =='' We were such kids == haha

My first Harry Potter book was when I was in Sri Lanka. I didn't bring any novels with me on the trip and was sulking off, angry at mum cause she didn't let me bring any of my books. She then went to a girl (few years older than me) who was also on the tour with us and asked her if she had any story books. She did. She brought along her entire Harry Potter collection. She lent me one and I read.

And I fell in love. I was in Sri Lanka and I refused to put the book down. It went with me to all places, to the tea shops, the diamond shops, the hotel, the restaurants, the city. The book was in my hand. But the girl had to leave early (she was on a week's tour, I was on the 10days package). I prayed hoping she'd forget the book (I'm so evil == haha). One night dad overheard me praying and the next day, he brought me to the bookshop and there, I bought a Harry Potter book. :)

A few weeks later, I was on a trip to Australia. There, I met this couple, auntie Monica and her husband. They were book freaks :) Their house is completely filled with books! till the ceilings! all stocked up :) .. And they found out I was a book maniac too, so they took me to all the bookshops in town. One day, aunt Monica's husband did a wonderful thing. He pulled me to the side and whispered to me

Him : Can you keep a secret?
Me : Um... yes?
Him : This is the first time in my life I don't know how to spend my book vouchers.
Me : Oh? ..Do you need my help finding any books? *looks around*
Him : *laugh* .. Oh no. I just thought I'd give them to you. *holds out vouchers*
Me : ... *stares at the vouchers*
Him : Go on, take it.
Me : But..what am I to do with these? ..It's okay, I don't need them..
Him : You're actually doing ME a favour. If you don't use them, they'd go to waste.
Me : *unconvinced*
Him : You can pick ANY books you want.. and how many you want, it's up to you. :)

I went straight to the Harry Potter series and took a book. He then said I should take more than one, so I took another one. He insisted I get the entire series but I lied and said ''No it's okay. I've already read them.'' ..

He and aunt Monica told me to wait outside while they settle the book voucher thing. But I saw them paying for it with their own money. Later I found out by taking a peek at the vouchers ..that they are for Biographies.

My next few Harry Potter books I got from Nepal and Malaysia. Gifts from my dad and grandma. :)

I then had the entire collection. From different countries, gifts from different people. The books are worn out, from all the carrying around. But for me, it just shows how much I love them. I love them 'till they're not in good condition. =='' hahaha

When I look at my books, they not only tell me the stories, but the places I've been and the kind people I've met. I've always looked forward to the series and I'd go to harry potter websites using the school's internet.

I guess I am, indeed, one HUGE Harry Potter freak. :) And I love it.

Many people posted on facebook that they feel like crying because it's over. But to me, it's not over. It's still alive, inside of me. And I don't regret anything about it. :)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

I want my moon.

Dad's seminar tomorrow. :/ I'm not attending, just helping out with all the registration and counting money and handling disciplines. Those kind of FBI thing ya know? :P -yes, exaggeration- haha..

Watched a movie. : Deiva thiru-something. O.o'' It was nice, sorta a re-make from the english movie I Am Sam. But the ending was different. I prefer the tamil version ending I suppose. The mentally retarded father gives up his 5 year old daughter because he knows that someone out there can give her much more than he can ever give. Everyone in the theater cried :') .. Vikram did an excellent job acting! And the girl, omg, cutie pie :D We all just can't stop going Awwwww at EVERY SCENE SHE'S IN! :D ..Just too adorable. :D

Two of my favourite posters from this movie :)

Aww. :)

Sulking. Awww... :) haha

Went shopping for mum's birthday present today. I always have this thing where I have to buy more than ONE present. o.o'' For everyone. O.o'' So yeah, bought my mum THREE presents :D .. (One from me, two from Abi & Arvind : yes you're welcome :P) Then in the evening attended Novena & mass with grandma and bought TWO more presents for mum :D .. (okay grandma bought lahhh not me haha).

Ps : Will never wear a dress to Brickfields ever again! I caught so many people trying to look at places they weren't suppose to look!. =='' And then the women noticed the guys looking and they all whispered to each other and shot killer stares at me.. I don't get it. The dress wasn't even revealing. My GRANDMA bought it for me, so imagine what kind of dress it is lahh..=='' Sigh.

Went home and started wrapping. I'm terrible at wrapping stuffs. All of you who has received gifts from me are very aware of that, I'm sure. =='' But today was different! I sat there for almost ONE hour trying to do some funky pattern with the paper, you know, the way PROFESSIONALS do it :D ..And guess what? SUCCEEDED! :D

Even my grandparents said it looked great! .. (YES, everyone knows I'm terrible at wrapping). So yayy, my first SUCCESS in wrapping. *does the dance*

Though after I wrapped, I realised one of the wrapping papers said ''Congratulations, You're Expecting!!''..

Damn it.

Oh well. hahaha ;D

Friday, July 15, 2011

Isn't it ironic?

Don't you think?

That life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, when you think everything's okay and everything's going right.

And life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face.

Life has an excellent humour.

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe I am 1000% happier too?

Just imagine for one moment that the world wasn't one big competition who is happier than who, who is prettier than who and who is more talented than who?

What if we just loved freely and gave everyone the chance to be the very best that they can be- at whatever it is that they love the most?

I like this idea.

Sometimes it depresses me to think that when someone wins that someone else has to lose. Why? Why cannot we all find our little corners of the world where we belong, where we feel our best, where we love our best, where we give our best hugs. Follow me there. ''

Just.

50/50 :D

Click this for the trailer. Oh you also get to see the real guy.

Yup this is based on a true story.

CUCMS

Got the green light! There's an MBBS intake this year! :D Yes, going to the same place with the same people, how awesome is that? :D ..

Though it's only limited to 100seats, but I'm sure we'd all get in. I mean, some has already moved out and stuffs, a huge number went to pharmacy, so yeah..

GOOD NEWS GOOD NEWS :D

This is one of my favourite places in CUCMS. :D Yes, Click here.

It's like going home. :)

Now all I have to do is to talk dad into letting me go. Since he's keen on me getting out of there due to the so many past problems.

It's not about being 'unfaithful to cucms' as many has post on facebook (seriously, grow up guys ==) but yeah, it's about my parents concern. I'll go anywhere they wanna send me too. Though yes, I want to go to CUCMS but if they want me to go somewhere else, then sure, I don't mind.. cause it's what makes them happy that matters to me. :)

But yaaayyy CUCMS got the green light!

Hopefully will be seeing all of you in a couple of weeks ! :D

Purple. :)

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I've learned


"I've learned... that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned... that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned... that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned... that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned... that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned... that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned... that you can keep going long after you can't.

I've learned... that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned... that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned... that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned... that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned... that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned... that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned... that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned... that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned... that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned... that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned... that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned... that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned... that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned... that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned... that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned... that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned... that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned... that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to help.

I've learned... that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned... that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon."

Because I want a life worth living


"I believe in love. Fairytales. I believe that hard work works. I believe that we all get a fairy godmother. I believe that the little animals in the sea all sing to each other and that dogs can understand English. If none of those things really exist, but I live my life believing it to be so... Who cares?" -Keltie Colleen.

You Think You Know Me? (Bold Apply)

I am a morning person.
I am a perfectionist.
I am an only child.
I am Catholic.
I love God.
I am currently in my PJs.
I am currently pregnant.
I am currently suffering from a broken heart.
I am left handed.
I am married.
I am addicted to MySpace. Twitter. TUMBLR. Facebook.
I’m shy around the opposite sex.
I bite my nails.
I currently regret something I have done.
When I get mad I curse.
I don’t like anyone.
I love my family because they're crazy.
I enjoy country music.
I enjoy jazz music.
I have a car.
I have a cell phone.
I have a pet.
I have at least one brother or sister.
I have been to another country.
I have been told that I’m smart.
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
I have had a broken bone.
I have caller ID on my phone.

I have changed a lot over the past year.
I have had surgery.
I have killed another person.
I have had my hair cut within the last week.
I have had the cops called on me.
I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn’t.
I have kissed someone of the same gender.
I have mood swings.
I have rejected someone before.
I have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
I have watched Sex and the City.
I like Shakespeare.
I love to cook.
I love to eat.
I love Michael Jackson.
I love sleeping.
I love to shop.
I miss someone right now.

I own over 100 CDs.
I own over 100 DVDs.
I own and use a library card.
I love the nature.
I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream.
I read books for pleasure in my spare time.
I sleep a lot during the day.
I strongly dislike math.
I think Britney Spears is pretty.
I will try ALMOST anything once.

I work at a job that I enjoy.
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I can name all seven dwarfs from Snow White.
I am currently wearing socks.
I am tired.
I am currently waiting for someone.
I lost contact with someone, and it sucks.
I hate Miley Cyrus.
I think Party In The USA is catchy.
I’d date Harry Potter.
I'd pick brains over looks any day.

I am American.
I can name all the past presidents of the United States.
I know who was president before George Bush.
I love pickles.
I need the internet to live.
I prefer vanilla over chocolate.
I love everything with strawberry and chocolate.
I watched Star Trek.
I watched all six movies of Star Wars.
I own an Xbox.
I think music is life.


This is fun :D haha

Because girls give and fogive, guys get and forget.


"I saw remarkable things, but the only mystery I couldn't solve is how my heart couldn't let go of you"
-The Illusionist-

Hazy

The haze is getting to me. It's so strong, my entire house smells of smoke. Outside seems as if it's colour has gone a few shades lighter. I don't mind the colour because it seems like I had just stepped into an 80s movie, and I think that's pretty cool. :) It's the smell part I can't take. Feeling suffocated. :/

A few days ago, I dreamed that I had a baby. Then for one moment I forgot I had a baby. And then I lost him. And the rest of the dream was about me frantically searching for him. In deep anger at the person who kidnapped him (??) and at myself for letting him out of my sight. I remember crying like crazy and then forcing myself to stop because the tears were blurring my eyesight. The dream was so vivid that when I woke up, my legs hurt. From all the running around in search of him, I suppose? ==''

I searched the dreamoods site, maybe there's a hidden meaning or something.


Forgetting about a baby, represents an aspect of yourself that you have abandoned or put aside due to life's changing circumstances. The dream may serve as a reminder that it is time for you to pick up that old interest, hobby, or project again.

If you dream that you forgot you had a baby, then it suggests that you are trying hide your own vulnerabilities; You do not want to let others know of your weaknesses.


I can't connect those interpretation to anything in my life right now.. =='' Oh well. :/

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Alaipayuthey


Watched this movie after so many years and it just makes me go Awww ..again. :) haha..

Love how they learn the true meaning of love after marriage.. and it takes them an accident to understand it. Awww :)

Awwww :)

Awwww :)

Kay kay enough :P .. Love the songs! :D

Awwww... :) haha

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Just.

Spent my week watching HORROR MOVIES .. ANCIENT horror movies.. ==''

Watched both The Exorcist and the Omen series.

I used to L.O.V.E Omen when I was younger (yes, I was a sick kid. =='') .. but now, I find myself very bored. All the guy does is just STARE and bad stuff happens. To just throw in a dog and a crow and play scary background music does not make a movie, a GOOD one. =='' Makes me wonder why did I like it in the first place. ==''

Exorcist on the other hand, I L.O.V.E now. :) Haha..though sometimes the history part seems to be droning on and on and on and on .. but I like it. Especially Father Merrin's story. He dies in the first movie but his story is explained in the third movie. I loved how he lost faith in God and then found hope in Him at the end. It's the finding hope part I love. :)

I cried while watching Exorcist III. The part where the kids were shot to death and.. well, if you haven't watch it, I don't want to ruin it.

Spooky week I had. Especially when I keep hearing my furniture move in the middle of the night. I've always been hearing it, since many years ago. But I kept reminding myself that someone is just FENG SHUI-ing the house. Makes me laugh every time :D

A scene from The Exorcist.


Oh, I also watched the Back To The Future series.

Although I've watched all these movies many times, I wanted my brothers to watch them. So I made them sit with me and watch ;D They loved BTTF & Omen but they refuse to watch the Exorcist (they ran upstairs halfway during the first movie) and I can't get them to watch the second and the third one. Oh well.

Maybe I can get them to watch another childhood favourite of mine.

Poltergeist. :P

Monday, July 11, 2011

Oink. ==

Had so many great days this past week..

I like this feeling. :)

Dad came home from Pulau Sipadan and bought SO MUCH SEAFOOD! Fish & Prawns & Crabs & Lobsters. Now we're having seafood everyday. I don't mind really, cause mum & grandma is researching for more recipes to cook them and I get to eat them :D

I'm such a pig. ==''

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Sweet much? :)

Got a prank call today. Or well, I think it was SUPPOSE to be a prank call but they were too busy laughing, I recognised them.

Papa John's. :)

Suren (Manager on duty) put everyone on conference call to prank me. It was insane, haha.. I answered ''Hello?'' .. and Suren immitated Star Wars ''Is this DARSHINI?'' .. Me ''Yes?'' .. Him '' Are you sure?'' .. *laughters in background*

Me : Um yeah?
Suren : Are you REALLY sure?
Me : Maybe. who is this?
Amirul : Do you REALLY want to know?
Me : Oh no nvmd it's okay. :)
Saras : What you doing la?
Me : Working. At Papa John's.
*laughters*
Zita : Why she nothing one-?
Everybody : Ssshhhh!
*more laughters*

-Knew what was going on but what the heck, why ruined such an awesome plan right? ahaha-

Played along until everyone was just laughing and I kept rolling my eyes.. though they can't see THAT of course.

But it was just so sweet.. awww... :)
Though they sorta bullied me and asked me to sing a tamil song. ==''

I was like NOOOOO... ==

Suren *with British accent but FAIL* : Please, would you KINDLY sing us a song?

Everyone else *with accents* : Yes yes please ..oh please.. please..

==''

But still, very touched. :)

Oh!

Another cutie pie I found while browsing my folders. :) Awwhhhhhhh.. :) :) haha

Friends

Season 2, Epi 8 : The One With The List


Ross : Look, come on, I know how you must feel -

Rachel : No no, you don't Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if that ONE person you trusted the most in the world, not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons, NOT to be with you.

Ross : But ..but.. you see, I want to BE with you, in spite of all those things.

Rachel : Ohh well, that's mighty big of you Ross.

Ross : You know what, if things were the other way around, there is NOTHING you can put on a list that would ever, EVER make me NOT want to be with you.

Rachel : Well, then I guess that's the difference between us. You see, I'd never make a list.


Sunday, July 3, 2011

Hallelujah To The Lamb

Yesterday Arun got confirmed. Along with 32 other youngsters. Awhh, they all looked so beautiful yesterday, with their confidence and they're thirst for Him. They shone with light. His light. :)

It was splendid. Made me miss MY confirmation. :) Mine was very memorable to me.

I studied in my sunday school since I was 8 years old. And I was always the quiet one. My class was always divided, right side GIRLS, left side boys. The teachers tried to get us to intergrate but we were always BOYS vs. GIRLS.

And my class was not fond of me. I'm not sure if it was pure hatred or jealousy. You see, I sort of speak with an accent since I was young. Got that from all my immitation of DISNEY characters. Anyways, my sunday school teachers loved to ask me to read stuffs. A passage from the Bible, a story from the text book. And I always noticed eyes rolling at each other. They thought I was faking it. But I wasn't.

Anyways, growing up, I always felt unaccepted. I opened myself to a few people. At first Camelia.. and when Camelia moved, it was Patricia. I never got along with anyone else, and I know no one else even bothered. Nonetheless, I loved going for sunday classes. I loved the teachers, I loved the classes, I loved learning about Him, about Jesus, about the scriptures. Makes me feel different. Loved.

Anyways, it wasn't until our CONFIRMATION CAMP that we all became a family. We sang, shared, worship, and talked stories into the night. And when it was heart sharing session, I got up there and told them how I felt. Hurt, unaccepted, misjudged, unloved.. and it was because of them that I didn't like attending mass at church because I always felt their eyes on my every move. .. I cried like crazy. And I made everyone cry too. And after that, everyone came and hugged me and told me ''You've got a friend in me'' :)

That was when the walls broke and we were happy. We weren't boys vs. girls anymore, we were all brothers and sisters. What was sad about it was that we got close at the last month of our sunday school.

Uncle Brian & Aunty Leela (our teachers) and Father Clarence were very impressed by the turn-out and said that from now onward, every confirmation class will have two camps. One at the beginning of the year and one at the end. :)

On the day of our Confirmation, I felt every wonderful feeling on earth. Happy. Content. Because I was accepted. Because I was loved. Because I felt Him.
I felt the Holy Spirit and I remember there was this warmth in me the minute we sang our theme worship, I knew I did not imagine it.

I felt a change in me, and I'm sure right there at that moment, Jesus was present. There was this light for a moment and I felt everything around me sorta faded, for a few minutes. But then I snapped back but I knew it. I remember exchanging glances with Katrina and we were like '' :)'' .. haha..

When we received our certificates, we were all cheering, jumping up and down. More like newly confirmed monkeys haha.. :) I felt like I was about to cry because sunday school was over for me. But at the same time, I was very..very happy. :)

Back to Arun's confirmation, their theme worship was wonderful. :) And we all did a wonderful job singing it. :)



Lord I stand in the midst of a multitude
Of those from every tribe and tongue
We are your people on earth
Redeemed by your blood
Rescued from death by your love

There are no words
Good enough to thank you
There are no words
To express my praise
But I will lift up my voice
And sing from my heart
With all of my strength

Hallelujah(x3) to the Lamb
Hallelujah(x2) by the blood of Christ we stand
Every tongue Every tribe Every people Every land
Giving Glory
Giving honour
Giving praise unto the lamb of God

Lord we stand by grace in your presence
Cleansed by the blood of the Lamb
We are your children called by your name
Humbly we bow and we pray

Release your power to work in us and through us
Till we are changed to be more like you
Then all the nations will see your glory revealed and worship you

Hallelujah(x3) to the Lamb
Hallelujah(x2) by the blood of Christ we stand
Every tongue Every tribe Every people Every land
Giving Glory
Giving honour
Giving praise unto the lamb of God

Every knee shall bow
And every tongue confess that you are Lord of all, Lord of all

Hallelujah(x3) to the Lamb
Hallelujah(x2) by the blood of Christ we stand
Every tongue Every tribe Every people Every land
Giving Glory
Giving honour
Giving praise unto the lamb of God


Arun's confirmation class theme was

''We are your children, called by your name'' .. :)

Congratulations Arun! :)

Friday, July 1, 2011

Currently

Reading : ''Everything Is Not Enough''

It was in my grandma's house for a long time. Auntie Jodie left it there when she came to Malaysia with my uncle for a holiday. Then she totally forgot about it and went back to Aussie. I've seen this book in the drawer since I was 7 .. thought it looked lame.

But it's interesting.. and you know, how you'd feel when you read about kids being abuse.
That kind of feeling..

Thirsty

I want to go to an island, with a beautiful scenery of the ocean. :)


Haha but obviously I won't dress like that ==''

But I love it, being in water.
I just don't like drinking it.

Dad's at Pulau Sipadan right now ( all expense paid trip, a gift by the MOD to all hardworking teachers who produce excellent results in the pass SPM)


Pulau Sipadan. That place is GORGEOUS.
I saw it on tv a many years ago and wanted to go there ever since.
But I've a long list before that. (like the Great Barrier Reef and Borabora Island)

I've been to Krabi before though, in Thailand. But I was only there for a few hours. .. It was like a dream.. :)

Krabi :)

Vacation..vacation.. :D
Sigh..

Have you been thinking of me?
Cause you've been showing up in my dreams.
And you know what they say about showing up in dreams.
It means.. you miss me. :)

Landslide

I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
When the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean and tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder, children get older
And I'm getting older too, well

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder, children get older
And I'm getting older too
Well, I'm getting older too

So take this love and take it down
Yeah, and if you climb a mountain and you turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Where the landslide brought me down

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, maybe
Well, maybe
Well, maybe
The landslide will bring you down

I feel pretty

I wish I could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who’s inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today

My outsides are cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I’m through
It’s because of you
I’ve tried different ways
But it’s all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I’m just trippin’

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can’t look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty

I feel pretty
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and bright

Never insecure until I met you
Now I’m being stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I’ll get back to me (hey)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I’m through
It’s because of you
I’ve tried different ways
But it’s all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
Keep on trippin’

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can’t look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty

I feel pretty
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and bright
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight

Oh oh oh oh oh (Tonight)
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (Tonight)
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (Tonight)
Oh oh oh oh oh

I feel pretty (You can buy your hair if it won’t grow)
Oh so pretty (You can fix your nose if he says so)
I feel pretty and witty and bright (You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make)
But if you can’t look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty

I feel pretty
But unpretty