So I was feeling kind of down tonight, and remembered my blog. Hmm. I only come here when I'm feeling down in the dumps.

Not to say I haven't been feeling down these past two years. I just am in the writing mood today.

It's so odd when I think about how my life has changed, or is changing. I know that change is inevitable, but still...

It's August.
I'll be 24 this year.

Turning 24 has always been THE AGE for me. It's because my mom had me at 24. And even though we never really got along (and still don't), this age always made me feel closer to her. Like, ''I'll be turning 24 in two years, that was the year mum had me''. It was like my coming into existence is also tied to her becoming this new person; a mum. It was that junction, that change, that made me, and also in a way, made her.

And now that I'm here, everything feels surreal.

I'm in a committed happy relationship with my boyfriend whom I love more than anything in the world.

My parents are at the brink of a divorce.
And I find myself praying for it to happen. When was I surprised exactly? When I told them to get a divorce? When I told my grandparents to stop emotionally guilting my mum to stay in the marriage? Or when I was googling for divorce lawyers? I'm not exactly sure.
I just find myself rooting for it. Because it's better than how things are now.

Still, doesn't mean that I'm not hurt about it. But this isn't about me.

My best friend is moving to Singapore, most likely for good. She is also in a happy committed relationship with her girlfriend. I am happy that she's happy, and I'm rooting for this move too.

I spent my whole medical school with girls I thought were really good friends. I think I probably invested more into this relationship, and then found out that they don't feel the same. But this isn't their fault. I can't expect people to cherish me and this relationship, the way I do about them.

I'm 17 days away from my final examination, that will of course, decide my future.

Yeah. Everything feels surreal.