Why everyone privated their blog?? =.=''

If you wanna private your blog, then don't have a blog? I mean, go write in a diary. Or on a piece of paper then burn it and flush the remains down the toilet.

Having a blog, spreading the links to people then privating it is like...what?? =.=

Problem?

Okay so I have two weeks left for finals. Two weeks to study the subjects I've been studying the entire year.
That means 1year worth of subjects to be covered up in two weeks.

The thing is I have so much to do I do not know where to start?

For CA1, I didn't do any of the learning outcomes (screw you, Darsh!). I just read through the chapters, understanding & memorising as I go. No wonder I failed two subjects.

For CA2, I started doing the learning outcomes (learned my mistakes from CA1) but not complete, since I started pretty late.

CA3 & CA4 learning outcomes are complete.

So now I don't know what to do. I'm starting with CA1 subjects but because I didn't do the learning outcomes, I gotta read the chapters. But there are so many chapters to read. I have to memorise the learning outcomes but I can't write them down.

I am scared if I read and memorise as I go, it wouldnt stick in my head (as the results in CA1) shown. So what do I do??

*confused & scared

Before you read this post, click the link below

 Yes, 

Click this please

Load it okay. I want you to listen to the song as you read this post.

Loaded yet?

FULLY loaded yet?

Have you pressed play? Go press play.. 

 

Now read : 

Feeling nostalgic today.

No idea why. I guess maybe it's cause CA4 just ended yesterday? Or maybe it's because finals is in two weeks? Or maybe it's because today I watched the last episode of Season 3 Glee? Maybe it's one of them, maybe it's both.

All I know is today I just feel like lying around and listen to songs. And actually, that's what I did.
To me that is a big thing. You see, I'm not a fan of songs. Well, I was. Back, a long time ago. Before CUCMS actually. When I was in CUCMS, I guess I was kinda stressed. Or maybe of everything I went through, the painful and scary moments that played some part in making me into who I am today.

Everytime I listen to a song, my head feels clouded. It's as if there's so many noise in there. I prefer the silence. I don't have a song in my laptop. Even in the car, I'd ask my dad to turn the radio off (and then sing to myself) but yeah, I am just not a fan of music.

Not today though. Songs all day long. Maybe I needed a break from the silence?

I'm not sure now if the nostalgic I'm feeling is because of me listening to music that was once a thing in my life, or I'm listening to music today because I feel nostalgic.

Guess what? It's almost the end of my first year? And I think to myself, what have I accomplished?

I can honestly tell you..nothing?

My grades are as low as low can get. It's always at the border, between failing and passing. From before where A matters, now I'm happy even when I get 51 (passing mark 50). I'm away from home, from my family. I fight everyday with my best friend. I think the long distance thing is killing us both. She wants the texts, the calls, the everything. Which I am giving but not as often as she wants. She thinks I'm choosing everything else but honestly, I don't. Doesn't stop her from getting mad at me. Doesn't stop me from walking away. My boyfriend does not understand me, though he puts up with me. We both know that he's unhappy, and eventhough he does what I want, him being unhappy makes me unhappy. I don't know what to do because I can't change the way I am, and neither can he. So what now?

What have I accomplished? I ask myself, how do I feel now?

I feel nostalgic. For happiness.
For what I felt before.
The feelings I'm missing.

To feel like I've achieved something. That I'm happy with who I am, where I am, the people around me.

Let me tell you a sign to notice when I'm unhappy.

When I'm unhappy, I listen to songs.

Currently playing : Faithfully, by the GLEE CAST.

Just wanted you to know that the song you're listening to right now is the same song I listened too while blogging this.

I miss my best friend. She is angry at me all the time that sometimes I don't know what to do to fix things.

How I feel everyday

''How does it feel like not having a best friend?'', she asked me

But I'm Angry Too

Every soldier in a battlefield has their own way of dealing with the enemy. Some choose to run into it straight, full charge ready to attack. Some choose to stay silent and attack when no one's looking. Some choose deception, distract the enemy and attack him when he isn't paying attention. In fact, some do not like attacking at all. Some would choose negotiating to come at a solution. But nonetheless, everyone has their own way.

There are lots of arguments in my family. Ever since I was a kid. And my reaction to it when face with a problem, I walk away. And that is me until now.

When someone gets upset with me, either with something I did or didn't do, I just sigh..and not do anything about it. I don't console them, I don't tell them they're right or they're wrong. I just keep silent and see what happens. Maybe this is some sort of fort to save myself from getting hurt. Or perhaps this is some kind of a tactic, so that I don't get angrier and yell, say things I will regret in the future. Maybe this isn't a protection for me, but a protection for everyone else.

I'm only like that with people I'm close to. To people I'm not that close to, I explain. The silent treatment is what I learned from my family freuds, and I use this on anyone that I care about.

It's just like that.

If you're angry at me I am just going to let you stay angry.

Until this is forgotten and we get to move on and go back to normal.
But then again, if you choose to hold on to your anger, that's your choice.

Like I said, we all have our own way of dealing with things.

We were bored

So we made this video. It is actually..haha, well, VERY lame. :P This was uploaded like, months ago but then I remembered that I haven't blog about it yet. o.o But now I'm damn malas laaa. :P So here, IF you want to watch it, go aheadddd. :P haha

Click here to waste 8 minutes of YOUR life :P

And then we cut a whole watermelon. Had fun doing that too. 

The world should be careful when we're bored laa. Haha and THIS is just the stuffs we post on net ;) We've tons that we didn't. 

But that's a secret I'll never tell. ;)

xoxo

The world can analyze, size you up and throw you on the scales.

They can do their best to rate you and put you on their charts.
Then back it up with scientific smarts.

But honestly, there's more to what you're worth than what their human eyes evaluate.

Sexy's my name ;)

Okay the post has NOTHING to do with the post title. The song is just catchy, that's all ;)

Anyways, had a conversation with someone on name and virtues. 

I don't know how it got there. Oh, yeah, I think it was when he asked me about 'Adela'. And I told him it was my christian name. He then said he feels that a name holds a great importance and it gives the individual a sense of direction. Like his name, he feels he has a a lot to live up to.

I told him that personally, I feel sure, a name is important but it does not limit your capabilities and it does not dictate your choices. Even if you have a name that may not seem for some 'purpose', it does not matter so much. You have to make the effort to achieve whatever it is you want for yourself in your life. 

He says that a name will give an individual an impression that he is worth it, and then it will affect his choices.

Sure, I guess, but isn't it better to not let anything affect your choices? Not a name, not popularity (it's no count for merits), not anything but on your own decisions. That you list out your pros and cons and think critically on it. 

A name with a sense of direction is nice. A name given as a tribute to a famous individual is nice. A name named after a saint is great. 

But that does not mean it dictates your choices. What's in a name, stays in a name. Unless you practice the values and virtues the name holds in your life, your name is just a name. An identity but you decide the person you want to be. The name does not decide for you. 

Then, funny thing haha.. Was on facebook 'till late last night too, and my batch mate chatted with me. Asked me how come I've the name 'Adela'. And I said it's my christian name. Which surprised him (as usual), he didn't know I was a christian. I was about to go off when he said ''Wait! Want to know what my name means?''.. Random much? haha.. I said sure.. And he said 'Terpuji'.. and he puts the smiley :D .. Check out the kid so excited about his name. Haha, I asked him ''Want to know what Darshini means?''.. he said ''Sure''. And I said ''It means the one who blesses. And because you chatted with me, I hereby bless you''. :) 

Him : Thank you so much for your blessings OHHH GREAT ADELAA.

Me : You're welcome Yang Terpuji.

Haha, funny conversation. :)