Post-finals (PENANG TRIP)

Well, gotta talk about the awesome trip now.

Left on Friday at around 3pm. It was in a rush cause exam just finished and Vi was already waiting for us in the hotel. So took a cab, went to the jetty. Took the ferry across to the island.

Here's three of us on the ferry.

Then we met Aaron on the other side, took a cab to the hotel. Where we realised all the hotels that have rooms that fits our budgets were all booked (Arab holidays, go figure). Sat in a hotel lobby and dialed every hotel we knew (it was hilarious) but to no avail. Then we found out about Berjaya Hotel and decided to go there. On the way, we ''bumped'' into Georgetown Hotel. It was small, cute and much cheaper..so we decided to go with it. Stayed all three nights there haha.

The Lovely Couple chillin' in the hotel lobby

And then, that night we went for hawker food and went to the mall later on. Few pics : 

Next day, woke up, went for a massage. Thai massage. It was really good and relaxing. But because it was our first time, we were laughing like mad. Also at first it was kinda uncomfortable because all we had covering us was a small towel =.='' I even saw some parts I wasn't suppose to see, mind you. But all in all, it was a good and relaxing experience. I liked it but not as much as Aaron. He loved it so much, he even fell asleep. The rest of us girls were so hyper and laughed ourselves throughout the entire massage.

Then we went to the mall, did some shopping and hanged out. Matthew joined us. Random pics :

 The couple. :) 

 The bro couple ;) 

The girls ;)

And then went for dinner yadayadayada. 

 We were first at Clinic Cafe but we missed the hawker food so much we paid a 2nd visit ;)

Haha, next day, went for indian food lunch and had AWESOME AMAZING fun at the beach :)

Henny drank coconut juice everywhere we went =.=''

We swim, swam, modelled, had water fight, build sand castles. Had tons of fun that pictures just can't show it (partly because my phone ain't water proof so it's best that its stored away safely ;) haha

The beach! Check out us all wet and covered in sand. And still can take pictures. #awesomelikethat

Don't miss the reflection on my shades!

 Happy giler. Aaron looks like he's high on Fanta haha

Oh and not forgetting the random camwhoring we did here and there all those days! :)

 All the sweeties ;) Don't tell me you don't get sugar rush from seeing this ;) haha

All of us! :) <3

There are tons more pics but then again it's almost 2am in the morning and I've a picnic to go tomorrow. Gotta wake up early and make sandwhiches. haha No sexist joke please. :P

Again, PENANG trip was awesome. Can't wait for the next trip. We've already planned the places and all. Just gotta wait till the next exams, and then the hols ;)

Post-FINALS

Well, Finals ended last friday. And the minute it ended, we came back, packed and left for Penang. Returned to AIMST on Monday at exactly 2.30p.m, in time for the VIVA meeting in the lecture hall. After few depressing lectures by the lecturers that made me feel even more worst than the already nervous me, they announced those who gotta sit for VIVA. There are two kinds of VIVA, the one that is to pass and the DISTINCTION to get into Dean's list Viva. Proud of Jo for making into that list. VERY proud :)

As for the passing VIVA, thank God I wasn't on the list. But then again, that can only mean two things. Either I passed luckily, or I did really REALLY bad that I gotta take Supplementary (repeat a month with classes and re-sit examination). I even have that possibility of having failed 2nd year and have to repeat first year (this I really prayyyyy I don't get thisss :(  Like seriously ). I hope all those on the VIVA list pass it well (I am actually confident that they will, with God's blessing).

So now gotta wait 'till Friday for the results to be released. Imagine waiting like this. Not knowing. Sigh, it's eating me up day by day. I just want to go home with good news. Please dear God, please help us all do well. Please.

Prof Exam

I want to tell you a secret.

I know I always tell people to be positive about everything. That you can achieve anything if you try.

I am trying to tell myself that too.

BUT this PROFESSIONAL EXAMINATION..well, I don't have this feeling that I'm going to pass.
I am not even nervous. In fact, I feel fear.

No, not fear of sitting for the examination and either passing or failing.

Fear of what's going to happen when I fail.

Yes.
That's all I think about as I'm studying everyday.
And trust me, it's torture.

Feel like walking out that window.

Maybe this..isn't for me?

Yes, that's the other thing that runs through my mind.

I don't like this.

Why everyone privated their blog?? =.=''

If you wanna private your blog, then don't have a blog? I mean, go write in a diary. Or on a piece of paper then burn it and flush the remains down the toilet.

Having a blog, spreading the links to people then privating it is like...what?? =.=

Problem?

Okay so I have two weeks left for finals. Two weeks to study the subjects I've been studying the entire year.
That means 1year worth of subjects to be covered up in two weeks.

The thing is I have so much to do I do not know where to start?

For CA1, I didn't do any of the learning outcomes (screw you, Darsh!). I just read through the chapters, understanding & memorising as I go. No wonder I failed two subjects.

For CA2, I started doing the learning outcomes (learned my mistakes from CA1) but not complete, since I started pretty late.

CA3 & CA4 learning outcomes are complete.

So now I don't know what to do. I'm starting with CA1 subjects but because I didn't do the learning outcomes, I gotta read the chapters. But there are so many chapters to read. I have to memorise the learning outcomes but I can't write them down.

I am scared if I read and memorise as I go, it wouldnt stick in my head (as the results in CA1) shown. So what do I do??

*confused & scared

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Now read : 

Feeling nostalgic today.

No idea why. I guess maybe it's cause CA4 just ended yesterday? Or maybe it's because finals is in two weeks? Or maybe it's because today I watched the last episode of Season 3 Glee? Maybe it's one of them, maybe it's both.

All I know is today I just feel like lying around and listen to songs. And actually, that's what I did.
To me that is a big thing. You see, I'm not a fan of songs. Well, I was. Back, a long time ago. Before CUCMS actually. When I was in CUCMS, I guess I was kinda stressed. Or maybe of everything I went through, the painful and scary moments that played some part in making me into who I am today.

Everytime I listen to a song, my head feels clouded. It's as if there's so many noise in there. I prefer the silence. I don't have a song in my laptop. Even in the car, I'd ask my dad to turn the radio off (and then sing to myself) but yeah, I am just not a fan of music.

Not today though. Songs all day long. Maybe I needed a break from the silence?

I'm not sure now if the nostalgic I'm feeling is because of me listening to music that was once a thing in my life, or I'm listening to music today because I feel nostalgic.

Guess what? It's almost the end of my first year? And I think to myself, what have I accomplished?

I can honestly tell you..nothing?

My grades are as low as low can get. It's always at the border, between failing and passing. From before where A matters, now I'm happy even when I get 51 (passing mark 50). I'm away from home, from my family. I fight everyday with my best friend. I think the long distance thing is killing us both. She wants the texts, the calls, the everything. Which I am giving but not as often as she wants. She thinks I'm choosing everything else but honestly, I don't. Doesn't stop her from getting mad at me. Doesn't stop me from walking away. My boyfriend does not understand me, though he puts up with me. We both know that he's unhappy, and eventhough he does what I want, him being unhappy makes me unhappy. I don't know what to do because I can't change the way I am, and neither can he. So what now?

What have I accomplished? I ask myself, how do I feel now?

I feel nostalgic. For happiness.
For what I felt before.
The feelings I'm missing.

To feel like I've achieved something. That I'm happy with who I am, where I am, the people around me.

Let me tell you a sign to notice when I'm unhappy.

When I'm unhappy, I listen to songs.

Currently playing : Faithfully, by the GLEE CAST.

Just wanted you to know that the song you're listening to right now is the same song I listened too while blogging this.

I miss my best friend. She is angry at me all the time that sometimes I don't know what to do to fix things.

How I feel everyday

''How does it feel like not having a best friend?'', she asked me

But I'm Angry Too

Every soldier in a battlefield has their own way of dealing with the enemy. Some choose to run into it straight, full charge ready to attack. Some choose to stay silent and attack when no one's looking. Some choose deception, distract the enemy and attack him when he isn't paying attention. In fact, some do not like attacking at all. Some would choose negotiating to come at a solution. But nonetheless, everyone has their own way.

There are lots of arguments in my family. Ever since I was a kid. And my reaction to it when face with a problem, I walk away. And that is me until now.

When someone gets upset with me, either with something I did or didn't do, I just sigh..and not do anything about it. I don't console them, I don't tell them they're right or they're wrong. I just keep silent and see what happens. Maybe this is some sort of fort to save myself from getting hurt. Or perhaps this is some kind of a tactic, so that I don't get angrier and yell, say things I will regret in the future. Maybe this isn't a protection for me, but a protection for everyone else.

I'm only like that with people I'm close to. To people I'm not that close to, I explain. The silent treatment is what I learned from my family freuds, and I use this on anyone that I care about.

It's just like that.

If you're angry at me I am just going to let you stay angry.

Until this is forgotten and we get to move on and go back to normal.
But then again, if you choose to hold on to your anger, that's your choice.

Like I said, we all have our own way of dealing with things.