CUCMS? AIMST?

Some experiences scars you for life.

And you know from the dreams you have, and the fear you feel whenever you think about it.

Most of my scarred experiences were all from the year I was in CUCMS.

Before this, all this time I kept thinking about wanting to go back there and I shouldn't have left.
But yesterday, after having that conversation with Vino, and she asked me if I'm happy over here..
It sorta hit me..

Maybe it was a good thing that I left after all.

Since I came here, I've been feeling homesick. Cyber sick.
I guess it's because I spent the whole year making CUCMS my home, and towards the end it, after all those painful experiences, it did become my home.

But when I think about it, AIMST accepted me easily. I didn't have to try, I already felt at home when I first came here.

Maybe it's time to let go.
I am no longer a CUCMS-ian, I suppose.

I am an AIMST-er.
And happy about it. :)

Hope it shows the same in my results. GAHHHHH. T.T
SO DREADING THE RESULTS OF CA2. =.=''

Today

Just finished CA2 exams! It's 1.50a.m Saturday morning, and I am tired like crazy. But I know I can sleep late, and wake up late..and go back to being a pig.

Well actually, I've never stopped being a pig even during exams. =.=''

Anyways, exams was bad. This is what happens when you study last minute. But then again, I didn't study last minute to be exact. I studied but I didn't reinforce it in time, so when it came to the day before the exam, I had to revise & memorise everything, and well, there just wasn't enough time. Cause the reinforcing was last minute. Sigh.

Dreading the results. I hope I don't fail. Though I know that won't happen. But still, pray & hope for the best.

And letting that go, because CA2 is over.

Also, I don't want to blog about my resolution of studying and doing better in CA3 because I'm just tired.
These past few weeks have been all about studying and stressing, I just want to ..relax.
For a bit.

Going home next week for Chinese New Year holidays!
Gotta go get bus tickets. I hope they're not sold out.

Karunya is going to Penang this weekend. So that leaves me and Henny. Maybe Darsh will come over too.
Just plan to laze around and catch up with each other.
(HAHA as if there's anything to catch up about. We're always talking & never shutting up anyways).

I guess maybe I can catch up on my FRIENDS (yes still haven't complete. forever in the same season la =.=) & HIMYM. It's been so long.

Oh my gosh, I'm planning as if I don't have finals to sit for.

RELAX JAAAAP JE.
HONESTLY.
NO LIE.

I'M HAPPY TODAY. Weee. :)
Are you? :P

My visit to cyber :)

This was WEEKS ago.

E33AB :) Fatin & Taranya weren't there, but awhh I miss them :'(

Hahaha, everyone's hands around me :P *SYOKSENDIRIMOMENT* :)

Cute ain't it? :) :) (Yasmin, Meera, Husna)


The girls :)


Met two new members of the family. Teeba (from AIMST) & Kalnisha.. They're so sweet. :)

Everyone :') Priyaa & Renee ain't in the picture. Didn't get to meet up with Renee that day. sigh.


Vino & I. :)

Was planning to blog about this for so long but then, with the sucky net and everything, couldn't. So aimst line is back and here they are. :)

I miss cyberjaya soo much. :'( I love aimst already, but still, there's always a part of me that still call cyber HOME.

I still write cyber's ID here in aimst.. when they ask for the id number, I always write FD, then scratch that off, followed by my aimst ID number.
And when people ask which apartment I'm from, I go EE3AB, then I remember, ''no wait, haha, it's C3B'' ..
-What's up with 3s and Bs? O.o'' haha

Oh well, I can have more than one home anyways, right? :)

To get what you want, but not what you need

It's usually one way or another.. Back in Cyber, I always get what I needed, not I wanted. And because of that, I guess I was pretty much miserable. I had to FORCE myself to be happy ..and yes, in the long run, the faking sorta became true. But the effort put into happiness, wasn't something I would have wanted it to be in the first place. But looking back now, the year was fruitful. I don't regret anything, those experiences were needed to make me, and I am so very grateful.

Over here, I realise, I am getting what I want. I am happy, I don't have to force myself to be, happiness comes, just like that, no effort needed. But then, this scares me. How will this turn out?

I've always had this feeling since I was younger, that everything is mapped out for me. I have to start telling myself that it is my choices and my decisions that affects everything that comes next. I shouldn't be walking on the path paved for me by others, or the path I think I should go, but instead to walk the path I want to.

I've been praying a lot lately, asking God for his guidance.. What pulled me back to him? Fear, uncertainty, confusion..but above all, I needed Him. To remind me of who I am, who I'm suppose to be and what I'm suppose to do here. I keep straying, I notice. Even right now, I've strayed off. I can keep telling myself this is wrong, what I'm doing is wrong, but then , I just continue off. I know it's because of my curiousity, on whether I can walk this path and still make this work. But the fear is here because I'm a person who always gravitates towards familiarity. Unlike people like Henrina.

She would try out everything..when she bought a new printer, she was just pressing every button, not afraid of the result of her actions. When she buys anything, she would handle them like she owns them for so long, eventhough it was her first time using it and she does not know how. I on the other hand, I hesitate. I think, I stare, I handle it slowly, softly..but in the end, I always end up calling someone else for help. I was afraid of making my own mistakes, even though sometimes, mistakes are suppose to be made. So we can learn from them.

So when face with a choice to walk down the path that I know, and the path I don't, eventhough I am ALREADY on the unknown path, I keep stopping, hesitating..I can't stop thinking about the familiar path, and how much safer if I'm on that road. But then again, I'm not turning back. I just keep worrying and worrying, but still not making the change I need to.

Just worrying.
If this will turn out well.

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead..

- Someone Like You by Adele. :( Everyone gets sad when they listen to this. Divv, Karu, Henrina..it's like, a bunch of ADELE EMO FREAKS. :/ They'll listen to it in class too and emo. Sigh drama people. I'm the worst though. I cry. =.=''

Past experience or not, nonetheless, it is a good song.

And I love this video.

I cried at that too.

The lyrics :

I heard
That you're settled down
That you
Found a girl
And you're
Married now

I heard
That your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things
I didn't give to you

Old friend
Why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back
Or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday
It was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise
Of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known
How bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

VINOSHA, go listen to this. :P Since you're always asking me for songs.. haha.. :)

The life of a medical student is full of drama. And I just started.
This is going to be interesting ;)

RANDOM

Sunburned terribly =.=''

Back in Kedah and gearing up studying everyday. Kononya everyday actually =.= since it's just my second day back today :P I should go study now..

I've a feeling I'm falling sick. Sore throat, headaches, body ache. But no wayy, I WON'T fall sick. Not here, and definitely NOT NOW. Darshini's immune system, work HARDER please.

Drinking lots of water than I've ever drank in a day before, but yet, somehow I still don't feel enough :P I'm going swimming later, I think. I'm not sure.. I'm sleepy, but need to study..choices, choices choices..

''We keep running after people who least care about us.
Why don't we just stop, turn around. and see the ones running behind us.''

I've got LOTS to blog about, but I've been just saving it in my head, hoping someday, I'd find the time.
Someday. =.=

Gotta go study, have an awesome week! :)

Just - 25th August 2011

It's raining heavy here. I really love it when it rains. And remember when I said that the heat here in Kedah is different than the heat in KL? Well, the rain is different too.. I love it. :) You won't know what I mean 'till you come here to Kedah and experience the rain. Seriously, come. haha..

We had only one hour class today. For the first 100 students, cause we already had lab yesterday and pbl session last week. For the second 100 students, pity, up till 5 today. :P

Anyways, yesterday's game of truth & dare, really left an impact. =.='' We all couldn't look at each other without smiling, and everyone else who didn't play the game sorta notice it. We had questions where ''if you had to pick a person in aimst to do ________________'' ..and when we see the person today, we all get weirded out. =='' GILERRR haha. Then today I told them ''Let's NEVER play the game again'' ..and everyone said ''Agreeed.''

Well, yesterday after the game, I asked __ about her first time and I loved what she told me :

''I want to tell you but .. I think it's best if you go find it out yourself.. But just remember, don't rush things.. Take things as they go. At 19, it might not mean a lot to him, but it will mean everything to you.. And trust me darsh, you'll never forget your first. :)''

Oh and just fyi, I'm the kind who waits, 'till marriage. I'm all for celibacy. But I like listening to stories., especially true ones. To hear detailed accounts of their feelings, to try to imagine what it's like. According to Henrina, that's good, because it means I'm a 'normal' person..haha..

(Because in this group of mine, I seem to be one of the VERY FEW who's 'different').

Anyways, for these past two weeks, we have been singing the same song over & over again, it's sorta like our theme song I suppose..

1. Adele - Rolling in the deep
2. Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat - Lucky

And of course, because we're all going home, the ultimate theme song is

''I'm coming home, I'm coming home, tell the world that I'm coming home''

I made a list of chapters I plan to study during the one week holiday. I HAVE to, no exception. Darsh, you've procastinated enough, seriously, start gearing up or you'll be left behind. I hang out with a whole bunch of people who believes in BALANCE. Their motto ''Study when you HAVE to, have fun when you WANT to'' and it seems to work for them. Straight A's, JPA scholars, on dean's list. Yes, the entire group I hang out with. But I have this uneasy feeling that, maybe I'm not quite that type. But I should be, BALANCE is great in everything right? Yea, well, for now, I need to go all nerd 24/7, just to catch up, then maybe as time goes on, I can learn to start balancing.

OMG DID I TELL YOU HOW AWESOME THE RAIN IS IN KEDAH?

Anyways, the medical books are REALLY huge & heavy. I almost dropped to the floor when Karu handed me one to look through the other day.

Oh! And my right foot is weird. I knew I always had weird foot but never did I realise it was actually THAT bad. o.o'' I wore flats yesterday and I watched my feet while I was walking and then I saw what everyone meant (yes for the FIRST time). No wonder I kept falling and walking into things. I can't walk straight. Karu & Henrina thinks it's cute, but I was so self-conscious yesterday. Yes, about my FEET..Of all parts.. ==''

Okay I think I've crapped enough for today. Entertained much? haha.. I'm going to go have lunch now.

Oh and I've been dreaming of AIMST food for the past few days. I dreamed about walking to the counter and seeing the same food everyday and feeling sick. I find it so funny that I can even get sick of AIMST food in my dreams. =='' But I kinda see this as a good thing? In cyberjaya, the food was A-W-E-S-O-M-E, so it was no wonder I gained 12kgs in a YEAR. =.='' But here, the food, well it's okay, but there isn't much variety and sometimes the food looks weird.. so I just take a bit. I hope this goes on, because then I'd lose those 12kgs I gained in CYBER here in AIMST in no time. :D

Yes, positive thinking helps. ;)

Kay, ciao. :)

This week

So far this week has kinda been stressful & stress-free at the same time. Mixed feelings.

Just the first week and we've already studied 9chapters. Imagine that, 9! I wanted to revise all of them this weekend but somehow, even after continuous studying, I only managed to finish 2 & a half. Of course I did fell asleep and minus the time I spent eating, walking, bathing.. Okay, yeah I just realised I wasted a lot of time. == So the new week starts tomorrow, and I'm going to learn ANOTHER 9 chapters, this time with Practicals too *starts this week* so in a way, the workload is going to double. I need to start gearing up. fast. soon. NOW.

The stress-free part is when I'm with people hanging out. They seem so relax, laughing, all smiles that I lose myself in them. And then, the minute I'm away from them, BAM! All stressed up. haha..

I guess this part of me hasn't change at all. ==

Anyways, watched Final Destination 5 last night. I used to LOVE the FINAL DESTINATION series. Cause 1) people die in them 2) people die in the most interesting ways. However, the 'change' in me, I think I could see it so well last night. I was covering my face throughout the entire movie, till Sugentha asked me ''DARSH, DID YOU PAY RM10 TO CLOSE YOUR EYES?'' .. I was jumping in my seat, screaming and holding Sugentha's hand so hard, SHE screamed. == Halfway throughout the movie, I burst out crying. Yes, literally, I did. == I couldn't take all the pain, I wanted to go out. But I managed through, and I'm so proud. Of myself, yes :)

DRAMA much?? =.=''

Anyways, Karunya's room has a spare bed and we're heading to Miss Angelina (student's affairs) to see if I can get transferred there. Then I will be rooming with Karu and Henrina.

I know I haven't really introduce them but.. that's cause I'm waiting for the pictures, so I can do the introduction well. Karu has an IPHONE (did I mention that already?:p) and she has this app called lemme lemme or something..and it's so cool! There's so many crazy pictures of me in there. =='' I <3 the effects. :) .. Anyways, once Karu goes home and upload them, I'll use the pics to give the introduction on ALL my AIMST people.

Oh yes! I'm going home on the 26th! on friday. 1 more week and I'll be in KL! HOME.

I'm a VERY happy child. :)

Just for Laughs (no, NOT that tv show :P)

Remember the time we went out to the APPLE store and started playing around with the ipad? .. We took so many crazy pics, but then we wanted to bluetooth them, we couldn't figure out how. So we pretended that we were there to buy one, and kept asking the salesperson about how the bluetooth works. In the end, Divv was like ''let's just send them to my email'' and we were like ''How sure are you it has internet?"' but he shrugged and just sent for fun ==

However yesterday, Divv told us ''HEYYY I GOT THE PICTURES!!'' .. But you know, we only sent SOME.. =='' ta-da :D

ALWAYS THE GLEE! THERE WILL NEVER BE A CAMWHORE SESSION WITHOUT ONE!

Notice I kept looking somewhere else a lot? I thought THAT was the camera hole == but it wasn't. it was the hole in the middle. FAIL lah. =='' hahaha

On ANOTHER note :


All awesomist put your hands in the air! ;)

So I made friends.

Tons of 'em. :)

From left on the third picture :

Thiva, Ashvinia, Divvan, Lisha, Sasvin, Me, Karunya.

Was not in many photos cause I was the one behind the camera..
Sorta like it that way.
But then they forced me cause my absence in the photos...it's like I wasn't there in the first place.
So ta-da.

I say ta-da a lot. ==

*Gasps*

I just realised I will be leaving for Kedah in TWO days.

Will be starting at a new college in THREE days.

And I still haven't packed!

I find it very hard to breathe right now.

The nerves are kicking in.

As expected.

DON'T. WANNA. LEAVE. :(

Weird much?

I found this conversation to be funny, haha.. And that it makes no sense. Well not to me anyways.
Some guy in AIMST added me up on fb and figuring I'd meet him later on anyways, I approved. We started chatting when this part came up :

Him : Are you from India?

Me : Um.. Duh? I mean, well, I'm ORIGINATED from India but I'm not DIRECTLY from there. =='' My great grandparents, maybe. Why? o.o

Him : Cause you look indian.

Me : Of course I look indian! I am an indian. ==''

Him : Oh k k.

Me : well then, since you asked, what about you?

Him : I'm normal indian :)


Are you saying I'm ABNORMAL?? ==''


I don't get the ENTIRE conversation with him. It made no sense to me. But I'm wondering, it isn't just me right? It makes no sense to you too right? ==''

Weird much?

Lights Will Guide You Home

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

No matter what.

Talking about her dilemma about going to Egypt and staying in CUCMS, Husna confessed and said she wants both. And that's why it was tough for her to decide.

That made me realise, that I want both too.
I want to stay in CUCMS, but I WANT to go to AIMST.

I want to stay in CUCMS because I love it there. The place, the system, and most of all the people. It already feels like home.

But then a part of me knows that, I will never grow up if I stay in CUCMS. I would still go home every week, my parents could come get me whenever I want, I would not learn to be by myself because I'll always be in good hands.

And being in the medical field, or any other field for that matter, one needs to be independent. Especially during housemanship when they're just gonna post us doctors to any hospitals around the country. And looking at myself now, I know I'm not ready for that.

I'm still afraid to cross roads on my own. I get nervous when I talk to strangers, even when it just involves buying food or asking for directions. I'd always get my family or my friends to do it. And because they love me, they do it anyways. But when I think about it, that's just spoiling me.
And they're not to be blamed.

If I were to go to Kedah, I'd be on my own. I would start fending for myself, and my family would be 6 hours away to come get me if I had any problems.

I know that this is what I need to do. Because I WANT to grow up.

It's like a bird, who can only learn how to fly if it's pushed out of it's nest.

So yeah, I want both.

The first choice CUCMS because of its familiarity and warmth.
The second choice AIMST is because of it's mystery, that I know I can use to make myself a better person, something that I won't be able to learn in CUCMS.

I think that's the reason why I was not strong on my argument during the discussion with my family. If I had said firmly that I wanted to stay in CUCMS, they would have let me. But I did not. They kept telling the the pro's of AISMT and eventhough I did not say it out loud, I do agree with them.

When I think about it again, I guess I don't mind the long distance, the starting over, fitting in again, getting used to the new environment, if this is what I need to grow up.

This is EXACTLY what I need.
And I'm heading there. Head on. No regrets.

If I had entered AIMST during foundation, I knew it would have been roughed on me. The way I look at it, CUCMS gave me a great stepping stone. My entire foundation year was filled with up's and down's. Loosing friends, loosing trusts, adjusting, making new friends, learning to accept and be accepting, learning from differences.. It taught me a lot. And with this lessons learned, I'm going to be able to use them for my upcoming experiences.

I was at the bank today for AIMST stuffs when I took a number. I looked at it and it said '1111' .. I thought to myself ''Ha, that does not happen everyday'' ..and when I sat down and looked at my watched, the time said ' 1. 11 p.m '. Now instead of looking away thinking ''coincidence'' , I had to go all ''OMG THIS IS FATE!'' .. haha.. I felt as if I was suppose to be there at that exact moment at that exact time. That no matter whatever mistakes I've made in the past, I was exactly where I was suppose to be, I was on the right track.

Yes, silly you might say. But I liked feeling that way. :)

So yeah, no matter what, this is the decision I make today, and I will stick to it.

Come what may.

No matter what. :)

Gah.

Aimst won.

Leaving for Kedah in two weeks.

1. TAK NAK.
2. Damn.
3. TAKKK NAKKK.
4. Sigh
5. Okay :(

Gonna miss CUCMS.

Ughhhhh :( .. But I have to do my best for my parents.
And I will be ready, in time.

Think positive! :) :) :)

Ugh.

Wake Me Up.

Dreamed something weird last night. And I'm going to drone on and on about it, so you can stop reading now if you want to :D

I dreamed that my college was having a carnival, except it was at my old school. My really OLD primary school, SK Seri Mega. All my college friends were there and we were all having fun, you know, the usual crazyness :)

At the end of the day we get to go on a ride, a HUGE ROLLER-COASTER, on top of the hill (at the back of Seri Mega school's field, there's a hill that is covered with greens). So after the carnival, we all hiked up the hill to head towards the roller-coaster?

(okay yes, I know some parts does not make sense :)

On the way up, we saw an empty chinese temple. But we ignored it and went higher up. I felt odd about the temple but ignored it, thinking about the roller-coaster. We finally reached the top and there was nothing there. So we decided to hike back down to the temple and ask anyone there.

When we entered the temple grounds, I was surprised, in a not good way. I dreamed about this temple, like 10 years ago, back when I was still living in Puchong. This temple is not a temple for the Gods, more like the temple for satan, or the pathway to hell or something. And they steal souls, until the people cease to disappear.

The last time I dreamed about this temple, I dreamed that my family went there for sightseeing, and they disappeared. Many people were killed and stuffs. But I managed to convinced them to let my family and I go, as long as we don't tell this to anyone. And in return, I had to promise them something.

I was befriended a little girl on my trip and I had to give her up. Because she was young, she had more 'life years' and energy in her, that they could make use of. I agreed.

And we left the temple, watching everyone disappearing.
Watching the girl being left behind.

I woke up from that dream feeling so guilty, I was depressed for DAYS.

Anyways, back to last night's dream, I was back to the same temple. Except, in my previous dream, the temple was full of people. But in this dream, the temple was empty. Other than the detailed characteristics, it looks like it had aged. Like 10 years.

I said to everyone ''I bet this is not it, let's go'' but Mero said let's just go check it out. She and Priyaa led the group towards a corner place where there was a souvenir shop. Izuddin said ''Eee mcm ada hantu je'' .. and everyone told him to shut up. I kept quiet trying to think if this was the same place, if it was going to happen again.

When we entered the souvenir shop, it was surprisingly new. Inside, there were three people. Two of them were the exact people from my previous dream! .. When I walked in, they smiled at me, as if they knew me from before, but quickly turned to my friends and asked them ''How may I help you?'' .. Fashli asked for the entrance to the roller-coaster and the guy said its through here but we have to wait for a while.

Priyaa then found a cool toy camera (??) and started playing around with it. Everyone started filling around the shop, looking at things to buy. Vino asked me why I look so weird but I said nothing.

As I look around the shop, it started to get weird. I kept getting flashes. For a while it would seem like my friends were browsing around and marvelling at all the things in the shop but the next thing, I'd see an empty shop, with my friends holding nothing but fully believing that they were holding something. The flashes kept going on and off for so long, I realised it was because I knew the truth, that this place is not real, and we had to get out of here, fast.

I turned and saw Mr.Shahril, working there. He smiled and told me there was nothing to worry about. I thought to myself, they're probably digging at our memory, trying to find a leader, a teacher that we trust easily, and found him. Because why on earth would Mr.Shahril be working at the Chinese temple? ..It made no sense. He just smiled at me and never took his eyes off me.

I told everyone ''Hey, let's go out for a second! We can look around!'' cheerfully and lead them out. Once out, I told them ''Let's get out of here, we can come back later with out lecturers or something :D'' .. Youwannia asked me what's wrong and why do I look so worried. I tried to hide it because I remembered, I was not suppose to say anything. That was as promised before.

I then said ''No, it's just this wait may take long so why not we go and get our lecturers or something? It will be more fun! :D'' ..Mero said she's lazy to go all the way back down and then come back up. Meera said the same thing too, and then she said 'JOM MASUK BALIK! SHOPPINGGG'' .. and practically half of the crowd went back in.

I turned around and saw a girl, standing, watching, from at the other end of the temple. I asked my friends ''Can you see her?'' and they all went '' um....who?'' ..

I started arguing and I can tell they got fed up. Taranya finally told me that if I want to, I can go call the lecturers myself. =='' And they stomp back in. Angrily. Annoyed. I couldn't tell. I was too worried I guess.

Vino and Renee told me they would follow me down if I want. I looked around and when I saw the girl again, the one whose soul I exchanged for my own and my family, I said ''Okay''.

On our way down, I kept turning back to see if the temple was there. It was, alright.
Till we reached the office, but when we came back out, it wasn't.

The entry to the roller-coaster was on some other side.
There was no route to a temple.
There was no temple.

The next day, the papers reported of more than 20 people went missing.
Without a trace.

Grrr.. I couldn't wake up today morning because I was so sleepy.
Dreams like this exhaust me.

And it amazes me, that I can still dream of the same thing more than 10 years later. The temple, the people, the details, were all so accurate.
Consciously, all this has long been forgotten.

But subconsciously, I guess the brain keeps track of everything..
Even weird dreams.

OMG GUILTY FEELING MUCH ==''

so..

I got into AIMST.

Now the decision part.

AIMST or CUCMS?

CUCMS

Got the green light! There's an MBBS intake this year! :D Yes, going to the same place with the same people, how awesome is that? :D ..

Though it's only limited to 100seats, but I'm sure we'd all get in. I mean, some has already moved out and stuffs, a huge number went to pharmacy, so yeah..

GOOD NEWS GOOD NEWS :D

This is one of my favourite places in CUCMS. :D Yes, Click here.

It's like going home. :)

Now all I have to do is to talk dad into letting me go. Since he's keen on me getting out of there due to the so many past problems.

It's not about being 'unfaithful to cucms' as many has post on facebook (seriously, grow up guys ==) but yeah, it's about my parents concern. I'll go anywhere they wanna send me too. Though yes, I want to go to CUCMS but if they want me to go somewhere else, then sure, I don't mind.. cause it's what makes them happy that matters to me. :)

But yaaayyy CUCMS got the green light!

Hopefully will be seeing all of you in a couple of weeks ! :D

Purple. :)

Just. Yeap. :)

Past few weeks has been GREAT! :D

Won't blog about it cause you might get jealous ;D hahaha :)
Okay, it's not that. It's just me being lazy. Oh well. :P

College searching so far has been awesome.
Kay well, not so. :/ Ppl are refusing to accept my HORRIBLE results.
All A's but a C in Physics.
Yes HORRIBLE. :/
haha..that's sarcasm.

So anyways, going to go back to college to repeat Physics.
To get an A there, and then have straight A's.
But I doub't it. PHYSICS? A?? With DR.AZAH teaching? :/
Oh well, must try right? :) haha





Was browsing through my folders and I realised, I have a lot of kids pics in there. Babies esp. Everywhere I go, when I see kids, I snap pictures. They say if you start seeing kids everywhere, it's because you're ready for one. If that's true, that means I'm ready for one since I was 5 :P haha..

Anyways, here's one adorable boy .. Aww, it was night so couldn't get a clear pic with my 'awesome' camera.. :) But you can see his gorgeous smile. :) Sweetie.

Child's innocence. :)

:)

CUCMS dilemma

Today morning I headed out to CUCMS to get answers, or at least an explanation as to what is currently going on. Sat down with Dr.Basir and my grandparents and he explained thoroughly. And please keep in mind this is what I was told and I will try to sort this information is the easiest way to comprehend. Here, I'll start from the beginning :

The problem started when the Medical faculty accepted a total number of 236 students for batch 2010 when they were only allowed to take in 150students ( extra 86 students ). When news got out, CUCMS had their license revoked. However, they managed to appeal and got accredited. The batch of medical graduates that CUCMS just produced is recognised.

However, crime and punishment. CUCMS has to pay for the mistake they made. So now, CUCMS have to be accredited EVERY year for ..well, as long as MMC think is necessary. So every year they will come down and survey and then give the green light, or the red light. Also, MMC does not want CUCMS to have an MBBS intake this year, seeing as they were irresponsible and careless the last time. CUCMS is currently appealing for that though.

So now, the question is.. what are we to do next?


Plan A : Wait for CUCMS to get the green light for MBBS intake this year.

1. Will CUCMS get the green light?
Dr.Basir said they are hoping to get a favourable response although there have been indication that that is most likely. Though an indication is not enough, it should be in black & white. Yes, we want to know NOW, CUCMS wants to know NOW however.. it's the response from the MMC that we are waiting for. Without their answer, CUCMS can't tell us anything.

2. When will we get the response?
Dr.Basir said most probably next month. They're trying their best to get an answer A.S.A.P so that we can make the next move.

3. If all is well..
We continue into the medicine faculty in CUCMS provided that our results fits the criteria (I'll touch on this later).

So..what if CUCMS gets the red light instead?
That would be Plan B.


Plan B : We'd be transferred to other respectable ACCREDITED medical institutions.

1. How is that to happen?
CUCMS themselves will arrange for us to be transferred to other accredited universities. However, this is also 'kind of' restricted because other universities would ask of a higher cgpa and also, in our cases, physics. But as promised, CUCMS will do their best to get us into the best colleges for our circumstances.

If we don't want to wait and would rather instead take matters into our own hands


Plan C : We choose to leave CUCMS and head over to other medical institutions.

1. This is something we can do instead of letting everything solved on its own. Research on other medical institutions and move there. Here are the accredited colleges :

-Universiti Malaya
-Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia
-Universiti Sains Malaysia
-Universiti Malaysia Sarawak
-Universiti Putra Malaysia
-Penang Medical College
-Universiti Perubatan Antarabangsa
-Universiti Islam Antarabangsa
-Mangalore University/ Manipal Academy of Higher Education
-Royal College of Medicine Perak (MBBS-Malaya Programme)
-Asian Institute of Medicine, Science and Technology
-Universiti Teknologi Mara
-Universiti Malaysia Sabah
-Alliance College of Medical Sciences
-Monash University Sunway Campus
-UCSI University

As you've noticed I took CUCMS out of the list.

Alright, so before I go on, first, what does it mean by 'accredited'.

Accredited, means acknowledged and recognised by the government.

So what if you studied in a non-accredited medical institution?
- You can still practice medicine. However, when you graduated, you have to sit for another exam to be given the licensed to practice medicine. So why worry you ask? Because this test is designed to fail students. It will be very tough and very hard. As you know, there have been many reports on the drastic increase of the doctors in Malaysia and it is alarming as the ratio shows that there are more doctors to patients. So it wouldn't be surprising if many fails this license exam, as the exam itself is designed to control the number of doctors to practice in Malaysia.


Okay, on another note :

Recently, MMC just set a minimum criteria and qualification for entry into the medical programme. And that it is said that there should be a minimum B for all four science subjects : Chemistry, Biology, Physics and Maths. And we all know which subject we're having problem with. Damn you physics haha =='' Okay well, anyways, according to Dr.Basir, everyone in Malaysia is appealing against this, that instead of all FOUR, perhaps a THREE out of four would do. They are appealing because

1. It causes too much constraint and stress on students to achieve high grades on ALL science subjects.
2. There are many students who have already completed their pre-med following the previous requirements. This causes difficulties on entering the medicine faculty.
3. There are many IPTAs & other medical institutions where physics are not one of the courses being offered. What happens there?

If everyone in Malaysia is appealing to the MMC about this, well, most likely it would be granted. Though no promises.

We will be informed (through letter or a phone call) about further changes.. like if CUCMS medical faculty is accredited for our batch or is not, or where we will be placed.

So..

If you're wondering what I'm going to do..

I am going to research about other ACCREDITED medical schools, to find a better one than CUCMS, if not as good, that suits me.
If that fails, I will look for ACCREDITED medical schools with an August intake. I will give CUCMS time but not that much.

But no matter what, I would not go into non-accredited medical schools unless of course, if worst comes to worst.

If you don't find these answers satisfying, well, there is nothing else we can do. Because this is everything they (CUCMS) know.

I hope I explained well. :/ If it's confusing or anything, ask me and I'll try to explain better.

Remember, we're all in this together.
Well, all the best to you guys. :)