The Reason Is You

Was thinking about this too, the other day. About how I feel so loved by everyone. And why is that so. How come I feel that way? I know I'm certainly not doing a lot of loving, not channeling out to others and making them feel the way I feel. And yes, I know that's kinda..sad.

But still, I feel so loved. I am very loved. And I was thinking why? I mean, am I going to die young? Like, what's the catch? What am I suppose to give to be getting this great gift?

Loved so deeply by my family. They suck at showing it, sure. Always scolding me all the time. =.= But I know they do.

Like my dad. He only talks to me like a lot when it comes to education. Studying hard, and doing my best. And not get distracted. Exams and tests. But then, silently, he'll do things. Like listen to my conversation with someone about my favourite movie, and the next thing, he'd bring home the CD. Overhearing me telling mum I'm sick of indian food, and that night he'd bring us all out for Chinese. Sure he scolds me in every conversation, but he does things quietly.

My mum well..? I don't know what she does.. I know she talks about me to her friends a lot, I can sense it from there.

Ohh..especially when my grandma nags me. About everything. The way I sit, the food that I eat. But when that happens, I'll angrily roll my eyes at her and walk off. And she'll yell after me ''Oh there goes the princess!''. Funny when I think about it. But she'll be the one bringing food to me when I'm sick. And massaging my feet when I'm tired. I've never done that for her. Not once.

And when my grandpa holds my hands when I walk. He walks fast. Guess he learned that from the hard life he had. I find it hard to catch up with him. I would have to take three four quick steps to keep up with his one step. He would try to slow down though. I can see it. But it's hard for him to do that, habit I suppose.

My brothers are annoying la. When I go near the younger two to play or talk or something, they scream ''MAAA DARSHINI IS DISTURBING ME'' and run off. But when I'm sitting alone on a wide couch, they'd come and sit an inch from me. Finish my food when I'm not looking, and even when I'm looking. =.= Hide the remote control when they go play football so I won't be able to watch the television. =.='' Haha.. Arun and I, we don't talk much. Sit in silence and talk every now and then. But the silence is comfortable.

My family, they don't say anything. They don't tell me that they love me. They get awkward when they wish Happy Birthday or when it's an anniversary of anything. But they show it. I just have to look for the signs. I know I'm good at it. Because there's two ways to look at it. One, them constantly scolding me and driving me away. But I choose to look at it positively, and I know I'm looking at it right.

And my best friend. Oh, she, well, she really shows she loves me. I am very lucky to have her in my life. She'd go to the ends of the world for me, that I know. She's always there for me, whenever I need someone. I know at times I get very uncontrollable. When I'm angry or when I'm sad, she knows how to handle me. I've unleashed all the bad and the ugly. We've gone through so many things together. Oh, and she's very cheesy. Her cards, her posts, her cheesy texts, haha. I'm spoiled by her. Actually, it's because of her that I feel very much loved. Through her loving me, is how I came to see that my family really loves me too. It was like, she got me buried deep in her love..and then I could see everyone else who loves me too. And that, is the greatest gift I know I've ever received from her. Not the cards, not the late night snacks, not the trips over to my house when I'm sick, the movies I wanted and not some concert tickets.. But hey, I'm not complaining. :P

And him too. He opened my eyes to things I've never seen. His insight to people and their feelings..especially mine. Through him, I learned to accept myself. To forgive and forget, to let go..and to receive. His passion and love for me, made me love myself too. The way he listens, full concentration. Understanding every word, every expression on my face. The way he remembers everything. The way he wants to be the first who's voice I hear in the morning, and the last at night. He's so understanding, and very patience. Something which I know is very hard to do, especially with me. I know I'm horrible and I give him a hard time, like..all the time. But he handles it cooly. I don't know how he does it. Because I don't like those parts of me. All the other times when I'm alright, he chooses those times to go immature and act crazy. Like seriously. =.= :P haha

And Vino. Her constantly missing me. She's always searching for me. Finding ways to get to me, even when I'm away, or headed the opposite direction. Not by choice, by flow. She's kinda like me I guess. And no, she does not know this. She's the me years ago. She keeps things in, she does not show her emotions on her face, her essence are deep. To the core. You wouldn't feel her, unless you really really know her. I was like that too. Years ago. But then my life experiences made me, taught me to open up. And I met tons of people on the way who broke my walls. So I become the person I am today. While she is the person she is, whom I was before. She's very the sweet. If you see her through my eyes, that is.

And other people too. Lots of them.

I know they love me.
And I'm so very blessed.

I love them like crazy too.
The difference is, I don't show it. Not the way they show it.

All of them, have told me so many times that they don't feel it.
I don't show it, I don't do anything. I don't text, call. Always them initiating everything.
They listening.
Me talking.

Always them giving, and me receiving.

I do try to give too. I just don't know how. It doesn't come naturally to me. But nonetheless, I still try.
But still, even when they feel that they're always giving and I'm always receiving, they still kept giving.

And the more and more I'm drowning in their love, the more I feel blessed. The more I feel lucky.

What have I done to deserve this?
I've thought about this and realise I shouldn't question. I should just accept and be happy about it. Because I have something precious.

Precious.

Special.

Mine.

Sometimes, just because they don't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they have.
You just have to look at it.
You either choose to look at your glass half empty..
or half full.

I'm sorry but I had to do this.

Hello there, it's not Darshini Mahendan here.

I am Vivian Tan Bo Yee, her best friend in the whole wide world, who has just hacked into her blog, to tell her this ;

I love you so very much! You are one amazing best friend, and I am very, very grateful to have you in my life. :
You are precious, and I love you just the way you are. Remember that. :)

And oh, your password is sooo very predictable. So, change it before someone else figures it out. :P

-More pictures, when you are back here! :)

-vi-

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
Watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

At your own pace

Everyone experiences different things at different stages of life. At a age where you might be experiencing loss, someone else might be experiencing a win. A day when you experience sadness and someone else experience happiness.

That's life. It is not an absolute thing, it is constantly changing, or growing as how I'd like to say it, at a different pace for everyone.

On the topic of ''Love'' , yes, indeed, I guess it is a great feeling, for someone to love you, to care for you, to constantly care for you, text you, fight with you, sure, I agree. :) And I understand you're feeling all the 'wants' and the 'craving', especially at this age, and when all your friends around you have that 'special someone'.

But that time will come for you, when you're ready.

I think it's a great feeling too, to dream.
To wait, to hope, to wish for a happy future, not knowing if it's there to come. But that's what faith is about.
So until that other awesome part comes, you enjoy this part of the book okay?

You must always remember that. That there is no need to rush. Isn't it fun to enjoy every chapter of the book?
When you're a kid, you enjoy being a kid. And that goes on too, when you're a teen, when you're in the twenties, mid-life.. then there will be no regrets.
You won't find yourself wishing to go back to a time you've missed. There wouldn't be regrets.
And that's when you know you're really contented, and you can take anything as it comes.

I won't say that I'm lucky, I'll say that I'm blessed. :)
But so are you. Just that our ''timing'' ain't the same.
I have him now, you'll find him later on..if it's not anytime soon.

But 'till then, enjoy this ride.
So that once you find him, you'll enjoy that ride too.

Take everything as it go, and have fun.
At your own pace. :)

ALL ZE' BEST!

For STPM!
I know you girls can do it!
I believe you can!



Eat well, get enough sleep,
don't get TOO stress out.
Just do your best, and He will do the rest. :)

Tons of love, know that my prayers are with you. :)

Miss you girl loads, looking forward to meeting up with you during the Christmas hols!
-yes yes I've explained in the texts I know :P-

My visit to cyber :)

This was WEEKS ago.

E33AB :) Fatin & Taranya weren't there, but awhh I miss them :'(

Hahaha, everyone's hands around me :P *SYOKSENDIRIMOMENT* :)

Cute ain't it? :) :) (Yasmin, Meera, Husna)


The girls :)


Met two new members of the family. Teeba (from AIMST) & Kalnisha.. They're so sweet. :)

Everyone :') Priyaa & Renee ain't in the picture. Didn't get to meet up with Renee that day. sigh.


Vino & I. :)

Was planning to blog about this for so long but then, with the sucky net and everything, couldn't. So aimst line is back and here they are. :)

I miss cyberjaya soo much. :'( I love aimst already, but still, there's always a part of me that still call cyber HOME.

I still write cyber's ID here in aimst.. when they ask for the id number, I always write FD, then scratch that off, followed by my aimst ID number.
And when people ask which apartment I'm from, I go EE3AB, then I remember, ''no wait, haha, it's C3B'' ..
-What's up with 3s and Bs? O.o'' haha

Oh well, I can have more than one home anyways, right? :)

I am who I am

I'm quiet.
I don't say much.
I get mood out easily.

I'm VERY sensitive.
I need anger management.
I still need to learn how to be patient.

I know how to cheer myself up.
I'm dependable on people, physically.
I don't know how to do much things, yes I admit.
I'm a spoiled child.
But I'm NOT a brat. I'm always willing to learn.

I depend on myself, emotionally.
I have walls, and it's hard to go through them.
Because of that I've hurt many people, and in that process,
I've hurt myself.

I trip easily. Everyday, all the time.
I sing to myself, a lot.
I make up songs when I'm bored. They sound horrible, but I don't care.
I keep singing.

I try not to let what other's say get to me.
Most of the time, they do get to me anyways. But I try.
And when I succeed, I don't care.

I'm scared of INSECTS.
Literally scared..like they can eat me, kill everyone and take over the world.
I scream, hide, hug anyone nearest to me.

I DON'T like milk.
The taste, the smell..I get nauseated.
That includes when I LOOK at milk, or when someone's drinking milk beside me,
or when I walk down the milk aisle in the supermarket.

I'm always scared.
Scared of the future, scared of the past.
I worry easily.
About my family, my friends, people, strangers.
I just don't know how to show it.

I'm strong when others are scared.
I'm protective.

I don't know how to express myself.

I LOVE kids. Babies, toddlers, kids.
I'm always around them, at parties or at get-togethers.
I play with every child I see when I'm out.
At the mall, by the road, at the clinic.
I can't help it, they just make me so happy.

The weather affects the way I feel.
When it's warm or hot, I get snappy.
When it's cool or it just rained, you'll find me very happy.

I'm the happiest during Christmas season.

I'm indecisive.
I take FOREVER to make decisions.
That's why I get headaches when I go shopping. I can't take it.
The pressure, of choosing.
And living with the decision.
Not just with shopping alone.

I'm easily distracted.
Even when I'm listening.
Whether to a lecture, or a friend's confession.
I try my hardest to CONCENTRATE, but I lose myself.

I think a lot.
I space out.
I cry easily.
I get emotional easily.

I'm all for justice, fairness and equality.

I don't judge people and I don't like being judged.
I believe in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.
I believe in second chances.

I believe in Him, want to be close to Him.

I love truly. And forever.
I just don't know how to show it.

I'm still figuring out myself.
Since I came to AIMST, I've actually been learning about myself.
The good, the bad,
Learning from my mistakes,
learning to love myself, and others.
Learning how to show it.

This is me.
I am who I am,
and you do what you can about it.

Sway to the rythm

I love how you're always there for me.
How you listen to me, your eyes never leaving mine, even when I look away.
How the lines on your forehead form when you're thinking hard.

I get scared when I talk about things, my feelings.
But you never rush me.
I love how everytime I pause, hesitating to continue, you nudge me softly,
word by word.
You wait patiently until I get there.

You've always waited, until I get to you.

Patience, something I don't have.

And I can tell you everything.
You never judge.
Even when I can see it hurts you.

When I get worried about you,
You start making light jokes of the situation,
so I'd smile.

You always do that.
I love how you notice every little thing I do.

How do you remember the things I say, when all I do is keep forgetting?
You remember everything.

How do you do that?

Sometimes my heart pains for you, to have fallen for me.
A mess.

But most of the time, I'm very thankful.
Because if you didn't,
and if you didn't show me you,
I wouldn't have.

I'm the lucky one.
Even though you keep insisting the other way round.

I'm thankful you know.
For you.
For us.



I'm a mess that way.
You're the glue that's holding us together.

All in time. :)

Paperweight

Been up all night
Staring at you
Wondering what's on your mind
I've been this way
With so many before
But this feels like the first time
You want the sunrise
To go back to bed
I want to make you laugh

Mess up my bed with me
Kick off the covers
I'm waiting
Every word you say I think
I should write down
I don't want to forget
Come daylight

Happy to lay here
Just happy to be here
I'm happy to know you
Play me a song
Your newest one
Please leave your taste on my tongue
Paperweight on my back
Cover me like a blanket

And no need to worry
That's wasting time
And no need to wonder
What's been on my mind
It's you
It's you

Every word you say I think
I should write down
Don't want to forget
Come daylight

And I give up
I let you win
You win 'cause I'm not counting
You made it back
To sleep again
Wonder what you're dreaming

Holidays

I'm ecstatic.
That it's the holidays.

I've been waiting to come home for SO LONG.
Like SO LONG.

During my exam week, I lived every day countdown-ing to Friday. Pity hev, he's my victim.

(the week before)

''Hev, guess what?''

''What?''

''Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday FRIDAY!!''

(the next monday)

''Hev, guess what?''

''What?''

''Tuesday Wednesday Thursday FRIDAY!''

(the next day)

''Hev, guess what?''

''What?''

''Wednesday Thursday FRIDAY!!!''

(the following day)

Hev ''Ehh bi, guess what?''

Me '' What? ''

Hev '' Thursday FRIDAY!!''



Haha :) And then, the unexpected happened. Mum called and turns out, they got the days mixed up. That instead of going home on friday, I'd go home on Saturday..and stay a day in Kedah. I cried, a lot, mostly because I can't believe my own parents would get the dates mixed up after my CONSTANT reminders about 21st October 2011.

But then, change of plans because I would be left alone in AIMST (since everyone, LITERALLY everyone, went home on that day afternoon). I followed my uncle and his two girls to PENANG, stay with them (he has some conference) and follow them back to KL the next day.

And I'd say, it was an AWESOME beginning to my holidays.
It seriously was.
Because of the two angels.

My babies. :)

The minute my mum said his daughters will be there, I was all YES! OKAY! SURE! ..though still down, but what's the point right?
And yeah, awesome beginning.

Kaushalya skyping with Hev waaayy past her bedtime. See the excitement and the sleepiness on her face? haha :)



Khaush playing with my fingers on the way home.



The best part of the ride? She slept on me, my arm over her shoulders. She slept while playing with my hand, so for the next hour, she was just clutching my hand, softly.
It was raining outside.
:)

Taken in the hotel room. Was skyping again when Harshini pulled open the curtains and the light was gorgeous. :) Then they went to the window admiring the light, and I thought it looked beautiful. So I took out my phone and asked them to do random poses and I took this picture.


They attempted to be 'models' but instead, all I can think about when I look at this picture is
Freedom.
Light.
Flying.
Dreams.
High.

I reached home happy. Turns out staying up north one day extra, reaching home late one day later, was not such a waste after all.

And this upcoming week are full of plans to meet up with loved ones.
I've a feeling this is going to be such an awesome week. :)

Oh yeah, I've homework.
Screw that assignment lahhhh. :)

Ha. ha. I wish. Of course I'll do it.
Just, not yet.

CYBER TOMORROW!
With him. :)

VIVIAN TAN BO YEE

You're my best friend in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD -I feel like a 6year old O.o'' haha

But it's true. I'm sorry I've been hurting you with my 'awesome' time-management, my sleepyness, always saying the wrong things at the wrong time. If I'm you, I'd get so annoyed. I don't even know how you put up with me.

You're so strong. You have a horrible best friend and yet, you're always there for her. You're amazing, you know that?

I'm going to try to be awesome-er too. Awesome like you.
I don't want to hurt you anymore and make you feel sad all the time.
I won't want to constantly feel bad when we fight all the time.
I DON'T want to fight all the time.

I'm going to try to be better.
I can't promise you that the change would be immediately, cause everything takes time, right?
This too, takes time.

Bear with me on this okay?

I love you, like freaking a lot. :)
Can't wait to see you on tuesday, we have SO MUCH to catch up on.

And we'll be doing this for many more years to come.
I can promise you THAT. :)

We were free like water, flowing down under the warmth of the sun

4th October 2011, 2.32 a.m :)


''And as we lie, beneath the stars,
we realise how small we are,
if they could love like you and me,
imagine what the world could be''

I was holding on to you, like someone broken,
and you told me..

'Just let me hold you while you're falling apart..
just let me hold you and we'll both fall down
Fall on me'

Hey,thanks for letting me fall on you.
You make my 'everyday' beautiful..
Who'd knew we would be an 'us' ? .. :)

ps : Yesterday just keeps replaying over and over on my mind. It waskinda perfect. :)



pps : So can't believe you slept early tonight! grr.. But hey, a part of me is happy that you fell asleep .. so then you wouldn't be awake to keep me up so late. :P Kidding.. :) Goodnight, love.

Everything worth having...

Comes with trials worth withstanding.

Anyways...

You can clearly see what I'm missing right now. :(

To get what you want, but not what you need

It's usually one way or another.. Back in Cyber, I always get what I needed, not I wanted. And because of that, I guess I was pretty much miserable. I had to FORCE myself to be happy ..and yes, in the long run, the faking sorta became true. But the effort put into happiness, wasn't something I would have wanted it to be in the first place. But looking back now, the year was fruitful. I don't regret anything, those experiences were needed to make me, and I am so very grateful.

Over here, I realise, I am getting what I want. I am happy, I don't have to force myself to be, happiness comes, just like that, no effort needed. But then, this scares me. How will this turn out?

I've always had this feeling since I was younger, that everything is mapped out for me. I have to start telling myself that it is my choices and my decisions that affects everything that comes next. I shouldn't be walking on the path paved for me by others, or the path I think I should go, but instead to walk the path I want to.

I've been praying a lot lately, asking God for his guidance.. What pulled me back to him? Fear, uncertainty, confusion..but above all, I needed Him. To remind me of who I am, who I'm suppose to be and what I'm suppose to do here. I keep straying, I notice. Even right now, I've strayed off. I can keep telling myself this is wrong, what I'm doing is wrong, but then , I just continue off. I know it's because of my curiousity, on whether I can walk this path and still make this work. But the fear is here because I'm a person who always gravitates towards familiarity. Unlike people like Henrina.

She would try out everything..when she bought a new printer, she was just pressing every button, not afraid of the result of her actions. When she buys anything, she would handle them like she owns them for so long, eventhough it was her first time using it and she does not know how. I on the other hand, I hesitate. I think, I stare, I handle it slowly, softly..but in the end, I always end up calling someone else for help. I was afraid of making my own mistakes, even though sometimes, mistakes are suppose to be made. So we can learn from them.

So when face with a choice to walk down the path that I know, and the path I don't, eventhough I am ALREADY on the unknown path, I keep stopping, hesitating..I can't stop thinking about the familiar path, and how much safer if I'm on that road. But then again, I'm not turning back. I just keep worrying and worrying, but still not making the change I need to.

Just worrying.
If this will turn out well.

MORE

You know the SWITCH shop in village mall, the one we always go and play with their APPLE stuffs? the macbook, the ipad, the ipod..and we always take TONS of pictures there, and leave them? :D And everyone will be staring at us.. :D then, we go on facebook at the shop itself and post all the pictures. Like these :

There's actually tons of people staring at us around, but sucks, can't see them. Sigh, feeling like a SUPERSTAR much? :P

okay, now I feel so sakai-ish =.=

BUT IT'S A TRADITION!
WE HAVE TO DO IT EVERY TIME WE GO THERE. :)
Nevermind the stares.
Because we're cool like that. :P

No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they're pretty, even if they aren't.

“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world.

As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie?

So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”

Just wanna say congratulations!

The SPM trial results are out and my dad called me to tell me what Arun had achieved. He got :

6 'A+'s, 2 'A's, 2 'A-'s.. My dad was a bit disappointed that he missed out on the last two cause when they check the paper, it was silly mistakes, and my dad does not like silly mistakes. -.-

But I, for one, am so proud of my brother. :)

CONGRATULATIONS on achieving such awesome results, and for being the TOP STUDENT IN RMC. #1 is your spot, right there. Not to say anything, but RMC is like, you have to be a really GOOD student to get in there, and to be the best CONSISTENTLY among the rest, is really an awesome thing.

But knowing Arun, he'd still be stressing out and push himself further.
It's a good thing, cause he can rest afterwards. :) .. I'm worried for his wellbeing, but about him achieving AWESOME RESULTS for SPM later, that I have no doubt at all.

Guess he's gonna apply for tons of scholarships now.
And he's aiming for ONE in particular.
Medicine, in IRELAND.
I'll pray for him.

But yeah, am so freaking prouddd.. :)

I'm making full use of my VIVAZ PRO WHITE. :P

Yes not like THE IPHONE but, I'm thankful I have a phone! :) :) And it's soo cool. Can slide it up with the keypads..and act all professional padahal mcm kid excited :P

Am I really getting older or younger? I feel like I'm aging backwards =.=''

Meet grace's bunny! .. Guess what's it's name?

BUNNY! :D

I've always been afraid of him..since last time, cause of the way it's body vibrates.. And all of a sudden he just runs..super fast..then at times he just SITS there, staring.. =.='' UNPREDICTABLE GILERRR..

Afraid to hold him but I've improved tons! :D
FAKE SMILE.. =.= I was thinking ''OHH NOO BUNNY DON'T JUMP ON ME''

Grace torturing her bunny. :P

I used to have rabbits when I was younger and still lived in puchong. It was a birthday present from dad. Came home from school one day when Arun came running out screaming ''APPA BOUGHT RABBITS FOR YOU!! BUT I WANT THEM!!'' .. and I was like ''Don't lie please =.='' cause my mum can't stand animals. But sure enough, as we entered the house, ta-da :D I was happy giler.

Then one of 'em died. The snowy white one. I cried for days.. =.= Then mum gave away the other black one so that we won't kill him too.. :( ..

Then my dad bought goldfishes.. :D And we were excited again :D Wee, fishes, so cool kan? :D ..

We killed them too. All of them. :(

Hari & Vino always had pets in their house. Ever since I can remember. It's either the dogs or the birds, or ..well, surely something. And everytime they had puppies, Hari would call me and I'd BEG for one. But mum would always say NO. So I only played with them during sleepovers ..

Then abishek & Arvindra came into this world (dramatic) and my dad bought hamsters :D Two hamsters.

One died.

My dad bought another one.

The old one died.

My dad bought another one.

Both died.

=.=

KILLER FAMILY.

Out of topic. yes you caught me. I don't want to study.. T.T
But I have to.. so yeahh..

Ciaoo :)

Because Karunya lost her iphone with MILLIONS of pictures in them :(

Ta-da. Make do with second best :P :

In starbucks, we bumped into two kids, who sat and played UNO with us. So cute :) .. And funny thing was, everyone thought they didn't know how to play UNO so they kept bullshitting the kids (not me, I was busy aww-ing at their cuteness haha).. that even when they lost, Sugentha was all ''You have the MOST cards! yay you win!'' .. :) Towards the end though, the girl was teaching her younger bro how to play UNO.. and she was teaching him the RIGHT way.. I burst out laughing like crazy, everyone's expression was PRICELESS. :p

Sugentha teaching them high5s :)

The other day in a BORING class.. Henrina & Thiva sits in front of me. Sigh thiva and that killer stare .. Like he wants to eat me up..grr =.=

Divvan on my left, playing the ipad. Concentrating right? :P

Karunya on my right, don't know doing what o.o''

Henrina & I :p

In the bus on the way back from KL to SG.PETANI. Reva & Ashvinia :)

Back in KL, we had our 3 in 1 birthday party celebration at the park. So the very funny. :P Hilarious gilerr..people were staring at us. Oh well, we party like we're rockstars kan? - so called :P .. Grace & Vi was like high that day. I was - T.T- cause going back to Kedah the next day.. :'(

I miss them oh so badly. :(

Just - 25th August 2011

It's raining heavy here. I really love it when it rains. And remember when I said that the heat here in Kedah is different than the heat in KL? Well, the rain is different too.. I love it. :) You won't know what I mean 'till you come here to Kedah and experience the rain. Seriously, come. haha..

We had only one hour class today. For the first 100 students, cause we already had lab yesterday and pbl session last week. For the second 100 students, pity, up till 5 today. :P

Anyways, yesterday's game of truth & dare, really left an impact. =.='' We all couldn't look at each other without smiling, and everyone else who didn't play the game sorta notice it. We had questions where ''if you had to pick a person in aimst to do ________________'' ..and when we see the person today, we all get weirded out. =='' GILERRR haha. Then today I told them ''Let's NEVER play the game again'' ..and everyone said ''Agreeed.''

Well, yesterday after the game, I asked __ about her first time and I loved what she told me :

''I want to tell you but .. I think it's best if you go find it out yourself.. But just remember, don't rush things.. Take things as they go. At 19, it might not mean a lot to him, but it will mean everything to you.. And trust me darsh, you'll never forget your first. :)''

Oh and just fyi, I'm the kind who waits, 'till marriage. I'm all for celibacy. But I like listening to stories., especially true ones. To hear detailed accounts of their feelings, to try to imagine what it's like. According to Henrina, that's good, because it means I'm a 'normal' person..haha..

(Because in this group of mine, I seem to be one of the VERY FEW who's 'different').

Anyways, for these past two weeks, we have been singing the same song over & over again, it's sorta like our theme song I suppose..

1. Adele - Rolling in the deep
2. Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat - Lucky

And of course, because we're all going home, the ultimate theme song is

''I'm coming home, I'm coming home, tell the world that I'm coming home''

I made a list of chapters I plan to study during the one week holiday. I HAVE to, no exception. Darsh, you've procastinated enough, seriously, start gearing up or you'll be left behind. I hang out with a whole bunch of people who believes in BALANCE. Their motto ''Study when you HAVE to, have fun when you WANT to'' and it seems to work for them. Straight A's, JPA scholars, on dean's list. Yes, the entire group I hang out with. But I have this uneasy feeling that, maybe I'm not quite that type. But I should be, BALANCE is great in everything right? Yea, well, for now, I need to go all nerd 24/7, just to catch up, then maybe as time goes on, I can learn to start balancing.

OMG DID I TELL YOU HOW AWESOME THE RAIN IS IN KEDAH?

Anyways, the medical books are REALLY huge & heavy. I almost dropped to the floor when Karu handed me one to look through the other day.

Oh! And my right foot is weird. I knew I always had weird foot but never did I realise it was actually THAT bad. o.o'' I wore flats yesterday and I watched my feet while I was walking and then I saw what everyone meant (yes for the FIRST time). No wonder I kept falling and walking into things. I can't walk straight. Karu & Henrina thinks it's cute, but I was so self-conscious yesterday. Yes, about my FEET..Of all parts.. ==''

Okay I think I've crapped enough for today. Entertained much? haha.. I'm going to go have lunch now.

Oh and I've been dreaming of AIMST food for the past few days. I dreamed about walking to the counter and seeing the same food everyday and feeling sick. I find it so funny that I can even get sick of AIMST food in my dreams. =='' But I kinda see this as a good thing? In cyberjaya, the food was A-W-E-S-O-M-E, so it was no wonder I gained 12kgs in a YEAR. =.='' But here, the food, well it's okay, but there isn't much variety and sometimes the food looks weird.. so I just take a bit. I hope this goes on, because then I'd lose those 12kgs I gained in CYBER here in AIMST in no time. :D

Yes, positive thinking helps. ;)

Kay, ciao. :)