Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap

It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down

I'm through accepting limits
'cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know

Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost

Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
Watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

I'm just gonna run right through the rain
I'm just gonna dance right through the pain
I just wanna feel that rhythm, feel that drum
Let my heart beat louder
Let my heart speak louder than my head (head, head, head)
Heart beat louder than my head (head, head, head)
Heart speak louder
Wanna feel that rhythm, feel that drum
Let my heart beat louder
Let my heart speak louder than my head

Paperweight

Been up all night
Staring at you
Wondering what's on your mind
I've been this way
With so many before
But this feels like the first time
You want the sunrise
To go back to bed
I want to make you laugh

Mess up my bed with me
Kick off the covers
I'm waiting
Every word you say I think
I should write down
I don't want to forget
Come daylight

Happy to lay here
Just happy to be here
I'm happy to know you
Play me a song
Your newest one
Please leave your taste on my tongue
Paperweight on my back
Cover me like a blanket

And no need to worry
That's wasting time
And no need to wonder
What's been on my mind
It's you
It's you

Every word you say I think
I should write down
Don't want to forget
Come daylight

And I give up
I let you win
You win 'cause I'm not counting
You made it back
To sleep again
Wonder what you're dreaming

We were free like water, flowing down under the warmth of the sun

4th October 2011, 2.32 a.m :)


''And as we lie, beneath the stars,
we realise how small we are,
if they could love like you and me,
imagine what the world could be''

I was holding on to you, like someone broken,
and you told me..

'Just let me hold you while you're falling apart..
just let me hold you and we'll both fall down
Fall on me'

Hey,thanks for letting me fall on you.
You make my 'everyday' beautiful..
Who'd knew we would be an 'us' ? .. :)

ps : Yesterday just keeps replaying over and over on my mind. It waskinda perfect. :)



pps : So can't believe you slept early tonight! grr.. But hey, a part of me is happy that you fell asleep .. so then you wouldn't be awake to keep me up so late. :P Kidding.. :) Goodnight, love.

I've got a friend

I've got this friend
I don't think you know her
She sings a simple song
It sounds a lot like his

Oh I've got this friend
Holding onto her heart
Like it's a little secret
Like it's all she's got to give

Ohh, if the right one came
If the right one came along
Ohh, if the right one came, along


I love watching people, observing them, watching the things they'll do when they think no ones watching. You can sorta have a glimpse into the kind of person they are. No, you can't know a person by just looking at them, but by bits and pieces of their actions, you sorta get a picture.

Of all people I watch, my favourite is when one does not do anything. He or she would just be sitting there and staring off, into the horizon, thinking. I love to see their facial expression, and the lines on the forehead as they think hard, their head filled with thoughts jumping here and there. I'd like to figure out what they're thinking but mostly, I just watch.

In AIMST, I get frustrated.. Because everyone's connected. I can sit and observe something, then finding something out through an observation, and I can sorta solve the problem because I observed someone else who has the answers. But then, I'm not the scriptwriter aren't I? I can't just play them like their chess pieces, eventhough I want to so much, because I know that would result in a happier ending.

But then again, we all need a little bit of sadness here and there right? Then we'd know to appreciate happiness. And there's no rush in that. All in good time. :)

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead..

- Someone Like You by Adele. :( Everyone gets sad when they listen to this. Divv, Karu, Henrina..it's like, a bunch of ADELE EMO FREAKS. :/ They'll listen to it in class too and emo. Sigh drama people. I'm the worst though. I cry. =.=''

Past experience or not, nonetheless, it is a good song.

And I love this video.

I cried at that too.

The lyrics :

I heard
That you're settled down
That you
Found a girl
And you're
Married now

I heard
That your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things
I didn't give to you

Old friend
Why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back
Or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday
It was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise
Of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known
How bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

VINOSHA, go listen to this. :P Since you're always asking me for songs.. haha.. :)

The life of a medical student is full of drama. And I just started.
This is going to be interesting ;)

Lights Will Guide You Home

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

:)

If you have a moment, head on over to youtube and searched for the video lyrics to the song ''Waiting on a Woman'' by Brad Paisley.

This song never fails to tear me up every time. :)

Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
''You waitin' on a woman?''
I nodded yeah and said, ''How 'bout you?''
He said, ''Son since nineteen fifty-two I've been
Waitin' on a woman.''

When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said, ''I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on.''
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah, she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

He said, ''The wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman.''
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, ''I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman.''

And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman.

Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman...

Because there was a time, when it was you & me

''Promise me to think of us, as a time so beautiful.

Promise me to think of us, still bright, still colourful

Promise me to look back at us, as a time in your life, you enjoyed''

Hallelujah To The Lamb

Yesterday Arun got confirmed. Along with 32 other youngsters. Awhh, they all looked so beautiful yesterday, with their confidence and they're thirst for Him. They shone with light. His light. :)

It was splendid. Made me miss MY confirmation. :) Mine was very memorable to me.

I studied in my sunday school since I was 8 years old. And I was always the quiet one. My class was always divided, right side GIRLS, left side boys. The teachers tried to get us to intergrate but we were always BOYS vs. GIRLS.

And my class was not fond of me. I'm not sure if it was pure hatred or jealousy. You see, I sort of speak with an accent since I was young. Got that from all my immitation of DISNEY characters. Anyways, my sunday school teachers loved to ask me to read stuffs. A passage from the Bible, a story from the text book. And I always noticed eyes rolling at each other. They thought I was faking it. But I wasn't.

Anyways, growing up, I always felt unaccepted. I opened myself to a few people. At first Camelia.. and when Camelia moved, it was Patricia. I never got along with anyone else, and I know no one else even bothered. Nonetheless, I loved going for sunday classes. I loved the teachers, I loved the classes, I loved learning about Him, about Jesus, about the scriptures. Makes me feel different. Loved.

Anyways, it wasn't until our CONFIRMATION CAMP that we all became a family. We sang, shared, worship, and talked stories into the night. And when it was heart sharing session, I got up there and told them how I felt. Hurt, unaccepted, misjudged, unloved.. and it was because of them that I didn't like attending mass at church because I always felt their eyes on my every move. .. I cried like crazy. And I made everyone cry too. And after that, everyone came and hugged me and told me ''You've got a friend in me'' :)

That was when the walls broke and we were happy. We weren't boys vs. girls anymore, we were all brothers and sisters. What was sad about it was that we got close at the last month of our sunday school.

Uncle Brian & Aunty Leela (our teachers) and Father Clarence were very impressed by the turn-out and said that from now onward, every confirmation class will have two camps. One at the beginning of the year and one at the end. :)

On the day of our Confirmation, I felt every wonderful feeling on earth. Happy. Content. Because I was accepted. Because I was loved. Because I felt Him.
I felt the Holy Spirit and I remember there was this warmth in me the minute we sang our theme worship, I knew I did not imagine it.

I felt a change in me, and I'm sure right there at that moment, Jesus was present. There was this light for a moment and I felt everything around me sorta faded, for a few minutes. But then I snapped back but I knew it. I remember exchanging glances with Katrina and we were like '' :)'' .. haha..

When we received our certificates, we were all cheering, jumping up and down. More like newly confirmed monkeys haha.. :) I felt like I was about to cry because sunday school was over for me. But at the same time, I was very..very happy. :)

Back to Arun's confirmation, their theme worship was wonderful. :) And we all did a wonderful job singing it. :)



Lord I stand in the midst of a multitude
Of those from every tribe and tongue
We are your people on earth
Redeemed by your blood
Rescued from death by your love

There are no words
Good enough to thank you
There are no words
To express my praise
But I will lift up my voice
And sing from my heart
With all of my strength

Hallelujah(x3) to the Lamb
Hallelujah(x2) by the blood of Christ we stand
Every tongue Every tribe Every people Every land
Giving Glory
Giving honour
Giving praise unto the lamb of God

Lord we stand by grace in your presence
Cleansed by the blood of the Lamb
We are your children called by your name
Humbly we bow and we pray

Release your power to work in us and through us
Till we are changed to be more like you
Then all the nations will see your glory revealed and worship you

Hallelujah(x3) to the Lamb
Hallelujah(x2) by the blood of Christ we stand
Every tongue Every tribe Every people Every land
Giving Glory
Giving honour
Giving praise unto the lamb of God

Every knee shall bow
And every tongue confess that you are Lord of all, Lord of all

Hallelujah(x3) to the Lamb
Hallelujah(x2) by the blood of Christ we stand
Every tongue Every tribe Every people Every land
Giving Glory
Giving honour
Giving praise unto the lamb of God


Arun's confirmation class theme was

''We are your children, called by your name'' .. :)

Congratulations Arun! :)

Landslide

I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
When the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean and tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder, children get older
And I'm getting older too, well

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder, children get older
And I'm getting older too
Well, I'm getting older too

So take this love and take it down
Yeah, and if you climb a mountain and you turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Where the landslide brought me down

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, maybe
Well, maybe
Well, maybe
The landslide will bring you down

I feel pretty

I wish I could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who’s inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today

My outsides are cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I’m through
It’s because of you
I’ve tried different ways
But it’s all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I’m just trippin’

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can’t look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty

I feel pretty
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and bright

Never insecure until I met you
Now I’m being stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I’ll get back to me (hey)

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I’m through
It’s because of you
I’ve tried different ways
But it’s all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
Keep on trippin’

You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make
But if you can’t look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty

I feel pretty
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and bright
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight

Oh oh oh oh oh (Tonight)
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (Tonight)
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh (Tonight)
Oh oh oh oh oh

I feel pretty (You can buy your hair if it won’t grow)
Oh so pretty (You can fix your nose if he says so)
I feel pretty and witty and bright (You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make)
But if you can’t look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty

I feel pretty
But unpretty

Been through just about everything,
That i could go through,
When it comes to relationships.
Don't know what i was missing
Or why i ain't listen
When i told myself that was it.
But here i go,
Hurt again.
Cause of my curiosity.
Now that it's over,
What else could it be,
Besides a cheat?

I made a promise never to settle,
Why didn't i keep it?
Cause i hated the heart break, crying and cheating
The fooling around.
But I'm not missing you...

I'm not going through motions,
Waiting and hoping you'd call me.
I'm not missing you.
You might've had me open,
But I must be coping because,
I've got lots to do.
I know I'm usually hanging on,
I used to hate to see you go.
But this time is different;
I don't even feel the distance.
I'm not missing, I'm not missing you...

It's a shame in way,
Cause i feel that i may not
Ever find the right one for me.
Did i leave him this year,
Right n front of my face.
Will my love ever be?
Why would i go,
on a search again?
When i know what the
end will be.
What good is love
When it keeps on hurting me?

I made a promise never to settle,
Why didn't i keep it?
Cause i hated the heart break, crying and cheating
The fooling around.
But I'm not missing you...

I'm not going through motions,
Waiting and hoping you'd call me.
I'm not missing you.
You might've had me open,
But I must be coping because,
I've got lots to do.
I know I'm usually hanging on,
I used to hate to see you go.
But this time is different;
I don't even feel the distance.
I'm not missing, I'm not missing you...

No I can't be with you 'cause I'm scared
Felt like I was falling when you left me
I can't keep going through life
Unaware of what I missed and the person I could be
Love's good when it's right
Bad when it's left in your memory
All the times I let you down
I guess love will be nice for someone else's life

But I'm not missing you

Vaanam

I just watched an awesome movie. One of the best I've seen recently, and it goes on my list of FAVORITE MOVIES and list of MOVIES I FORCE PEOPLE TO WATCH.

So if you received my text about this movie, that's me FORCING you to watch! :) haha, yeap, I sent to a whole bunch of people.. :D

So this movie. It's about 5 different stories,with a connection. Yes, I WANT to tell you about it! :)

But I won't, cause I don't want to ruin it for you :)
And you know how much STRENGTH I need to not tell you right ==

So basically, this movie centers about God, and how he lives in people. How you can see Him when people do random act of kindness. A person who had done many crimes can repent, and that very act of repenting, shows God.

It's a beautiful movie. None of these characters are perfect..some lead hard lives. And yet, in the end, they showed God lives in them. They changed for the better.

The character who was crazy about becoming rich sacrificed his life for others. A guitarist, who only cared about music and nothing else, saved someone and end up loosing his hand. A prostitute repented. A police who was racist was saved by the man he had been bullying. And so many more.

There's this one song which I love, about 'Where is God?'..the song then went on about war, starvation, disease, deaths.. but then it concluded with ..God lives in the people who does kindness..

''God lives in our hearts''

I cried during the entire movie! and all the way home! I had to stare out the window so my family would not notice..but then everyone outside saw me crying =='' I even have tears in my eyes while typing this.

The entire movie was a journey, a life-changing one. This movie is one movie where I will FORCE my kids to watch. haha :)

Everytime We Touch

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch in my dreams
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last
I need you by my side

?Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat so?
I can't let you go
I want you in my life

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky
They wipe away tears that I cry
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all
You make me rise when I fall

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last
I need you by my side

'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat so?
I can't let you go
I want you in my life

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last
I need you by my side

Back To December

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while

You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up, and I know why

Because the last time you saw me
I still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses, and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time

These days, I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, and I didn't call

Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days
When fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if you loved again, I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

This is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time, all the time

What Are Words

Heard that Chris Medina wrote this song for his fiancee' who was dying? It gives me an entire different meaning now that I know the story behind it. :'(

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
I'm forever keeping my angel close