no matter if it's good or bad,
if it healed you or hurt you,
just
Monday, March 25, 2013
Goodbyes
It's ridiculous how I can cry for so many simple things. I connect emotionally with fictional characters, with animals, heck, even with objects. But when it comes to my life situations, I run. I do not want to feel. The minute feelings start creeping into me, I block it out, brush it off, pretend I don't feel anything.
It's easier that way.
When a character dies, I spend the day crying and then spend the next few days dwelling on it. I feel sadness for the story, deep anger and frustration that the story would have gone another way. Then more days passed, and I just feel sad. The series would be different without that one character. Few weeks passed, and another character becomes my new favourite. When I miss the previous character, I can always go back and watch prev episodes. Or even, google the actor out and ease my eyes.
It's different losing someone in real life.
Just lost my grandma. I did not even attend the funeral because I was 5 hours away and couldn't make it. I will never see her or talk to her ever again. Never in my life will I use the word 'pati' again because that word has always been reserved specifically for her. I was never close to her, but the feelings that come onto me, the pain, the heartache, like my heart is going to burst. I was never close to her, and the pain I feel is enormous. She's gone.
It's been 5 days and I haven't cried.
I haven't thought about it.
Now I'm thinking about it. 5 minutes post, and I'm back to blocking it out.
Because it's easier that way.
It's easier that way.
When a character dies, I spend the day crying and then spend the next few days dwelling on it. I feel sadness for the story, deep anger and frustration that the story would have gone another way. Then more days passed, and I just feel sad. The series would be different without that one character. Few weeks passed, and another character becomes my new favourite. When I miss the previous character, I can always go back and watch prev episodes. Or even, google the actor out and ease my eyes.
It's different losing someone in real life.
Just lost my grandma. I did not even attend the funeral because I was 5 hours away and couldn't make it. I will never see her or talk to her ever again. Never in my life will I use the word 'pati' again because that word has always been reserved specifically for her. I was never close to her, but the feelings that come onto me, the pain, the heartache, like my heart is going to burst. I was never close to her, and the pain I feel is enormous. She's gone.
It's been 5 days and I haven't cried.
I haven't thought about it.
Now I'm thinking about it. 5 minutes post, and I'm back to blocking it out.
Because it's easier that way.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
YOU take a chill pill haha
I am a very opinionated person. I like engaging in thought stimulating conversations and coming up with new ideas that can change people, the country and even the world. But what sucks is that I am in a generation where majority of the people like to crap about unicorns and rainbows. And when I give a valid opinion, it's always ''why you so tension?'' and ''chill''.
It gets really annoying sometimes. Well, most of the times. But I don't want to stop all these inovative discussions and stoop down to mere crap. I want people to rise up and talk. Like, actually talk. And people say that it's boring and not fun, it actually really is. Talking about making the world a better place doesn't mean it's not fun. Fun isn't restricted to mindless blabberings and bunch of words that makes no sense.
I like to crap, I do. But then, there's always a time and place for it.
People have different time and places for it, yeah, that I agree too.
If I don't go and comment on their ridiculous posts on facebook 'stop crapping and please talk smart' , then they shouldn't go and comment on my opinions 'relax' and 'chill'.
Because in the end, conversing intellectually is way better than conversing mindlessly. And people should get other people to talk smart too, not the other way round.
Again, just my opinion.
Which I know most won't probably get because, well, it's the generation.
I know very well I'm standing with very few on this.
It gets really annoying sometimes. Well, most of the times. But I don't want to stop all these inovative discussions and stoop down to mere crap. I want people to rise up and talk. Like, actually talk. And people say that it's boring and not fun, it actually really is. Talking about making the world a better place doesn't mean it's not fun. Fun isn't restricted to mindless blabberings and bunch of words that makes no sense.
I like to crap, I do. But then, there's always a time and place for it.
People have different time and places for it, yeah, that I agree too.
If I don't go and comment on their ridiculous posts on facebook 'stop crapping and please talk smart' , then they shouldn't go and comment on my opinions 'relax' and 'chill'.
Because in the end, conversing intellectually is way better than conversing mindlessly. And people should get other people to talk smart too, not the other way round.
Again, just my opinion.
Which I know most won't probably get because, well, it's the generation.
I know very well I'm standing with very few on this.
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