I am not one to hold anything against anyone. :)

But for you, I'll make an exception.

Yes, you.

Papa Johns

Currently working in Papa Johns, Lucky Garden, Bangsar. It's really near to my grandparent's place..like 50seconds walk.. (I timed myself:P) haha.. The reason I'm working? Grandma wanted me out of the house as much as possible and not be a couch potato. So yeah...

But I wanna quit. Cause.. I don't like doing cashier work? If that is what I wanted to do, I wouldn't have entered medical school now, would I? ;) ..But I <3 my co-workers at Papa John's ..so I'm trying to stick there as long as possible, so that I won't disappoint them. :/ ..

I don't really care about the money making .. because there isn't a need for me. Maybe I'll put it in the bank, or give to charity or something. All that matters is the memories and the experience gained.

What about the Iphone right? It was just a temporary thing. I don't NEED it anyways. So yeah.. not important I suppose.

But I still want it. Just not badly.

The last time I wanted something badly, look how great it turned out.
I don't want to WANT anything badly anymore.
In fact, I don't even want to WANT anything.

There are two ways to accomplish that.

A) Literally having EVERYTHING so that I won't have anything left to WANT.

or

B) Be satisfied with everything I have.

I come from a family who believes in option A.
But I'm tired of being pushed to accomplish things.

I'm going to try option B for a while. I'm sure that would make me happier. :)


''Hello, good evening. Thank you for calling Papa Johns Lucky Garden Bangsar, this is Darsh speaking. How can I help you?''

You keep telling yourself 'I'm okay' .. and then you reach some point when you realise you're actually not. You've only been trying to trick yourself into believing you don't need anyone.

When the fact is.. you do.


Well...
I do.

Trust issues MUCH??

Currently pissed at a certain someone. And she's not picking up the phone to clear things up. So 'till then, I'll stay pissed.

Which is definitely not good, for that certain someone.

Rufus & Lily

Rufus: He doesn't appreciate everything you have over an attractive 25-year-old mannequin. 'Cause beauty fades, but yours has done an ingredible job of holding on. And in the long run it's going to be his loss. And I thought he should know how it feels to lose you, 'cause trust me it's not fun.

They're my favourite Gossip Girl's couple. Yeah, to think that I'd actually go for those teen romance but no, one if the main reasons I love gossipgirl is because of rufus and lily. I love their love story, and I think it's a great one.

Lily: I'm rambling, and I'm nervous, and you make me nervous.
Rufus: That's a good thing, right?

I love how their love lasts for so many years. How they could not be together because of situations. How they let things come between them, and years passes and they're still deeply in love with each other, no matter how much they deny it to themselves.

Rufus: I never should have let you... let me go.

I love how they're always there for each other. Even when she was married to someone else, or he on the search for the 'one', they were still friends (with hidden feelings of course). I love how they always think of others, put others first before themselves. Like how Lily put her mum first when they were teens. How both Rufus and Lily put their kids first (Dan and Serena were a couple) instead of them getting together..which would make Dan and Serena bro-sis. But in the end, Rufus and Lily..well, they work out.

Lily: Thank you... for last night, it was...
Rufus: Amazing. (phone ringing) It's Bart.
Lily: That's what I was afraid of.
Rufus: You want me to answer it?
Lily: You want me to kill you?

This couple's meant to be. And the best part? They're the total opposite of each other.. Like puzzle pieces, that just fits. :)

Rufus: I wanted to prove that I could exist in both your world and mine.
Lily: Oh Rufus, I don't care what anyone thinks. You exist in our world and that's the only world that matters.

And unlike the teens in this series, they didn't need drugs, alcohols or sex to keep their love alive. All they need and have, is love. :)

Oh lastly, I love how they get on each other's nerves. Ain't that sweet? Awhhh :)

Rufus answering the phone: This better not be my wife.
Lily: Rufus, do you always answer the phone like that?
Rufus: Lily?
Lily: Listen, I need your son's cellphone number. It's an emergency.
Rufus: A real emergency or a Lily emergency?
Lily: I have a situation here.
Rufus: A situation? Your son is with your daughter and my kid. I trust them. Why don't you?
Lily: Rufus—
Rufus: Goodbye Lily. Always a pleasure.

Lily: We make quite the team.

Rufus: Always did.

Tumblr

Okay, so Tumblr can be kind of addictive. Now I know why my friends prefer tumblr than blogs? Why write tons when you can express yourself through pictures by clicking on them?

But still, blogs.. <3 :)

Just :)

Reminds me of our 'Bon Odori' :)

<3

Haha :)

:)

Okay

Don't worry, I'm fine. :) I always end up being okay.. ALWAYS. :)

One of the lessons I learned from my grandpa was to always look out for myself. And I will do that. I won't hang on to something, because I want to, because it's not fair, or because it hurts. At least, not anymore. :)

And eventhough I still have tons to say about it, I won't, because I don't see the point of it. The point of sharing, of closure with someone who calls it quits in any relationship.

Maybe that's their definition of a relationship, but that's not mine.

So be it. :)

And I'm okay with that.

Because once you're out, you're out.

And I mean it.

So yeah, don't worry.

I'm fine. :)

(and this ain't one of those WHAT SHE SAYS BUT REALLY MEANS OTHERWISE moments)

Balance

Just the other day I was complaining, about how more fun it was at college. About how that with my studies to concentrate on, I had more things to do and less time being bored. I wished it weren't the holidays.

But last night I had a dream. I was back in college, in class..and we had exams coming up. I kept studying and studying (for Bio) and yet, I kept failing. No matter how hard I studied, I could not perform well in the exams. While friends of mine were not seen studying, and they kept scoring. O.o'' I was really stressed. ==''

I woke up being thankful, thankful that it's the HOLIDAYS! IT'S BREAK! I'VE 4 AWESOME MONTHS TO KILL before I've to go back to all that stress.

So I learnt to be thankful. That there's a time for everything.

I spent months being stressed up about college and exams, and now I'll spend months relaxing. Then I'll start being stressed up again when MBBS starts. That's the way it works. It's so much better than being in class, WISHING it's the holidays, and during holidays, WISHING to be back in college.

I don't like WISHING. HOPING. When I wish/hope, I get let down. A lot. Especially when I wish on something that is not up to me to make it come true. Oh well. :)

Appreciate everything as life goes. Balance.

Then time can be well spent. :)

ShowMeTheMoney $$

I. WANT. THIS.

Get me this, and I'm yours. :)

Err.. wait, not YOURS exactly but.. I'll OWE you big time.

My dad doesn't want to get me this unless I get a 3.9 average..which is kinda impossible, for ME I mean. But not impossible if you're Joash, or Nirmal, or Candy.. T.T ..

Anyways..yeah, so THAT's why I'm going to work.. so I can get an IPhone.. by myself, with my own money. :D $$

Ka-ching Ka-ching, Bling Bling Bling $$

It's either iphone or a puppy :o

And I want THIS SO BADLY.. but I can't cause..

Arvindra and I are asmathic. :/ And mum does not like animals.

So yeah, IPHONE IT IS! :D

YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH! :D

how to get rid of bees without calling antipest services

Hahaha.. I was gonna type another title but then that popped up.. so what the heck :D

Rain

Mum forced me to go jogging with her around 4pm today cause it looked like it was gonna rain. She wanted to get her daily exercise.

So I went with her, and the boys.

And then it started raining.

We walked home in the rain.

Instead of getting into my house, we just played, in the rain.

I kept slipping and falling.

Abishek kept filling his hands with water and throwing them at me (FAIL much? O.o haha)

Arvindra kept running around in circles screaming ''ACID RAIN ACID RAIN'' ==''

It was freezing cold, and the winds were strong.

Instead of yelling at us like my mum would usually do, she sat and watch. Why? I don't know.

Then kakak bring out durians and we ate them, freezing cold, in the rain. Haha..

Arvindra brought out the umbrella and starts dancing around with it, I've no idea why. And I didn't ask why.

I got tired from all the walking and jogging so I lied down on the floor face up.. The sight of the droplets falling down, from the view below was beautiful. But before long I could not breathe. Had to go in, dripping wet.

But overall, this made my day. :)

You. :)

In a relationship, there is always one who loves the other more.

And the very fact that one makes the ATTEMPT to move on, shows which category one is in.

I guess it's my turn now.

Will try my very best, to move forward and not look back.

I don't want to be stuck in a never ending circle. Maybe I don't want my entire life to be planned out, but I do like to know that I'm secure.

And if we don't have that with each other,

If I don't have that with you..

If we're not trying..

If you don't even WANT to try..

Then I guess I'll see ya around. Maybe.

==

I'm getting that feeling again.

Boredom. Of myself.

The reason I deleted my previous blogs.

You can tell what's coming.

Empathy

Yesterday at the movies, I sorta realised something. Well, a few things actually.

First, I realise I get so absorbed. When people get hurt in movies, I cry out in pain. I go 'ow ah argh! ohh oww' and cover my face. My brothers finds it hilarious, but honestly, I do feel pain. So much pain that sometimes I wish I can just walk out of the cinema.

When people cry, I cry. Even if it's for something ridiculous, I can't stop the tears from flowing.

Then I realise, it's not just the movies.

Back when I was younger, I used to cry every time I read the papers. From the front page news, my eyes tears up, and when I get to the more horrifying stories, I break down crying. It came to point where I stopped reading the papers, except for the tv guide. A few years later (present), I can read the papers. When my eyes tears up, I stare hard, breathe evenly and control myself to turn the page. Yes, self-control. It works.

When I hit stuffs, I apologise. Yes, to inanimate objects. People always asks me why. Why do I talk to table and chairs and walls? I usually just shrug it off. You see, I don't PLAN to say ''I'm sorry'' when I accidently drop a book. I just feel 'pain' and the apology comes out, just like that. Though one friend made a joke, and said that I should apologise to my shoe every step I take, for stepping on them. Ha-Ha very funny. =='' But true, nonetheless.

A couple of years ago, my debate teacher, Miss Nina noticed me apologising to inanimate objects, and notice the others teasing me about it (Sakai debate team! :P) .. but then she said I was full of empathy. I was happy that I could relate to a ..moral value? haha..

But now I don't like it so much. I cry easily, get emotional easily.

And it's not even for MY reasons. It's for others.

I don't like feeling the pain in my heart, especially that it's not my pain.

It's not selfish, it's just..who would want to feel pain anyways?

Definitely not me.

30th April 2011

An aunt of mine just passed away. Didn't really knew her. All I remember was that my grandma always mentioned her whenever I get sick.

''You don't take care of yourself, you're going to get worst! Like you know, your aunt____ .......''

Yeah, I usually block out the lecture. ==

But yesterday when I found out, I wondered if it was to do with her sickness. And indeed, it did.

She always had difficulty in breathing, especially when she eats or drinks something that she shouldn't. Like me.

However, one morning, she woke up, and she could not breathe.

She left behind an infant. A baby girl, of just a few months old.

I think I've got to start taking care of myself.

May her soul rest in peace.