I don't need to change myself to please society

Word.

Some people should really learn this.
It's not all crap on 9gag you know. :) haha

Another Clever Post Title

''Remember that the Christian life is one of action; not of speech and daydreams. Let there be few words and many deeds, and let them be done well.''


- St. Vincent Pallotti


This has always been one of my favourites growing up. My sunday school teacher always recited this, because that was what she believed in. It's true. What's the point of talking and reciting scriptures and not practicing it in daily life? It's better to be quiet and show Him through  your acts rather than being a motormouth believing you're there. "shrug" Sure you can fool yourself and everyone around you, but you can't fool Him. Because He sees. 


And I always remind myself that. That it's alright because He sees and He knows. :) That is what's so comforting about Him. I believe God is loving, caring and forgiving. Sure, he is a man of principles, but as long as you're always wanting to go to Him, He'll always receive you. 


Was doing some reading up on peer pressure. Read on true life stories, that led to youngsters resorting to self harming and suicide as a way of escaping. That saddens me that they don't realise how precious life is, and that the fear they feel from all the pressure can be solved in so many ways. Sometimes it's not easy, no, but it's not impossible. 


Thinking of changing my Autism topic to Peer Pressure. Maybe. Will see. 


Just realise it's almost 4a.m. o.o GAHHHH. GOODNIGHT!

Ohhh bythewayyyy, my dad bought me a new laptoppp! 
Because well, I sorta ruined my current Compaq. The screen is loose and it'll cost RM550 just to fix it, and that to with no warranty. So dad thought, well perhaps he'd just get me a new one since this laptop is three years old.

Note, I didn't ask him for a new laptop. He just got me one. :)

Meet another baby of mine that I've yet to meet :P SONY VAIO E SERIES. 

Ta-da. It's apparently the latest one, with the diamond texture and all. Not really a fan of it because it reminds me of reptiles, CROCODILES specifically. And it really looks better in pink though. But dad got HIS favourite colour which is black haha.. 

Ohhh well, not gonna complainnnn. :):) I would've loved any laptop he would've gotten for me. But I would never expected a VAIO. WHYYY PA WHHHYYY? :p :) THANKYOUU. (sent him a thank you text. the way I was feeling I wanted to send him TONS but I was afraid he'd start thinking 'why this girl so excited?' and then not give me my laptop..yeah my dad works that way. o.o'') 

Exam in less than three weeks. GEARUPDARSHHHH!

Have I told you

I'm a skyscraper? 

:) 

My awesome weekend :)

So I did something I wouldn't normally do last week. And I really hope no one in my family reads this. o.o hahaha.

Last thursday, I took a bus to KL and stayed over at Vi's place. When I was suppose to be in Kedah. No, I am not proud of lying to my family but Vi bought me tickets to go see Avril Lavigne and never in a million years would my parents allow me (because it's at night and they're extremely protective). So I did what I had to do. I sneaked. *gasps*

Here are the pictures!

Thursday (16th February 2012) :

My camera and I! First time holding it. That's kinda obvious seeing 

I have NO IDEA how to hold it. o.o

THANKYOUVIFORTHECAMERAAA:D

After fooling around with the camera, Vi studied while I watched a movie with Steve Carell in it. I think it's called Crazy Stupid Love. It's really sweet. :) Then we slept.

Friday (17th February 2012) :

Vi went off for her exam while I went to see Hevind. He picked me up, Niki joined us, and then we picked Vi up and they dropped us off at One Utama. (All the pictures of this are with Hev. dang.) Oh, Hev's a great driver. Something that I wish I am. :P haha.. THANKYOUHEVFORTHEVALENTINEGIFTS. I love the bracelette and the books. FOUR books. Can't wait to read them! Thankyousomuchh :') 

Then Vi and I shopped at One Utama, and then we ate at Fish & Co. I love the lights there, they were gorgeous. :) 

Vi smiling cutely. Innocentfacemuch? haha

Ignore the candidshotface. Look at the light behind! :)

Then we shopped some more and I got my very first manicure. It was very painful. =.='' I don't know how Karunya yearns for it. :O At one point while they were massaging my hands, they cracked my knuckles (I NEVER DO THAT) and that was when I decided, that I would never do manicure again. The pain wasn't worth it.

But then I saw the aftermath of a manicure. My nails aren't my nails, if you get what I mean. So mmhhhh hahahahaha.. 

Ta-da. Picked a colour that I never had on before, just for the fun of it.

This was on the train on the way back to Vi's place. It was midnight. 

Never have I been out on my own with Vi that late before. Kinda scared me a bit. 

Saturday (18th February 2012) :

Woke up around 12pm, showered, went to Midv, had lunch, Bought food and went to Stadium Merdeka 2 hours before the gates were opened. We were three hours early for the concert. So we lined up. And wala-

First pic :The crowd lining up in front of us

Second pic : The crowd behind us

Notice that we're so close to the entry gate? Yea, we're awesome hahaha :)

 Vi's cool outfit. This is currently her facebook profile picture :P haha

Us excited about our 'passes' :) 

 Our distance from Avril. So close yet so far. :) haha

 It then rained and we bought raincoats. TA-DA.

I have no idea what's with us and peace signs haha

It was dark and we played with the torchlight for a while
(the concert hasn't started yet laaa)

After the concert, the crowd scattering off like ants.

The stage. Again, loved the lights!

We then went back to Vi's place (it was close to 12pm), put on our Avril t-shirts and took more pictures! 

Thanks for the wonderful adventure everyone! :) 

I'm happy to be back at home. But sad cause I'm leaving to go back to Aimst tomorrow. Not fair, why must they schedule my MUET exam on thursday. WHYYY T.T 

AIMST

I really love this picture of AIMST.
Yes, there are days like this. :)

Arghhhhhhh!! :D

VIVIAN GOT ME A POLAROID CAMERA FOR VALENTINES!!!!

I've always wanted a polaroid camera..this is so cool :) And it's so cuteee. I still haven't seen it yet because it's with her now and I'm all the way in AIMST in the jungle in Kedah at upnorth AHHHHHHHHHHHH :D

Fujifilm instax mini 7
Yeap that's my baby ;)

THANKS VI!! :D SO AWESOMEEE. AHHH :D
I love you :)
And no not because of the camera. I still love you even if you didn't get this for me. :P but yayyy haha :)
I'm sooo exciteddddd. :D
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou

Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

( Vi took this picture of me when I woke up)

I'm sorry. And thank you.

People tell me they can't feel that I love them.
Or care for them.

Even though I deeply do. Very much.
They tell me they can't feel me.

So I try.
They tell me they can't feel me.

I try harder.
They can't feel anything.

I try even harder.
Doesn't make much of a difference.

I guess there's something wrong with me.
Thanks for pointing it out everybody..

;)

RIP Whitney Houston

If I should stay,
I would only be in your way.
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you ev'ry step of the way.

Bittersweet memories
that is all I'm taking with me.
So, goodbye. Please, don't cry.
We both know I'm not what you, you need.

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.
And I wish to you, joy and happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love.

And I will always love you.

Does not accounting for bad choices make them bad people?

Or just ignorant? 

I've always believed people don't do bad things on purpose. That no one would like to cause another pain or hurt on purpose. Sometimes it's understandable, when their happiness is at the expense of yours. I guess that kinda I sorta understand. It's always ''do what makes you happy'' and not the other way round.
But I do wonder, what about them who just..don't have reasons? Why do they do the things they do? Even to their own close friends?

Like in high school. I had this friend who blogged about some really private 'activities'. Sure, it wasn't really a good idea to blog, seeing as it's a public blog. Our friend, another guy..came across it. He read it, printed it out, and photostated tons of copies. He spread it around school and it went viral in Cheras. Apparently people still talk about it.
Why did he choose to do that? What did he gain? Does he find some kind of satisfaction or some sort of happiness in watching her being publicly humiliated? Sure, she did the crime but why must he come into the picture? Why couldn't he have kept quiet?

In my college too. There was some scandal of this senior couple going at it and it was recorded. A close friend of theirs got the video and she spread it. The video was bluetooth to almost everybody, even during lectures in the lecture hall. A friend of mine told me this (yeahh everyone was talking about it but it didn't reach my ears till MONTHS later =.='') and well, I see this couple and that girl everyday. I wonder, what is it like for them? And how can she walk like that? With full confidence like the world's her stage, talking to everyone, smiling. If I did what she did, I don't think I can live with that guilt. But then again, I wouldn't.

And another case. How can a best friend of 8 years use her to get to some guy she like. To go behind her back, lie about it. And her ''best friend'' had to find it out on facebook.I guess the 8years of friendship means nothing when compared to some good looking guy on facebook.

How do these people live with themselves?
Hurting others.
Ruining friendship.
And walking away, like there was nothing there to begin with.
Like no damage was done.

I don't get it.
I don't understand.
Where's your heart?

Random. Again. Should come up with more clever post titles

Went down with Darsh to give Jo his M&Ms. He has a thing for it, huge craving at 12am. Anyways, we sat at the park benches and sorta talked. Well, they talked, I listened.
The moon was really pretty..the clouds around it formed a pattern, as in it's drawing attention to the moon, but it also has it's own beauty.
And the stars were clear, scattered around the clouds.
It looked like the kind of night I would take pictures of.
But I couldn't, because I broke my phone camera. Destruction hands.

Oh, forgot my point.

Ahh. got it. Jo was holding a notebook in his hand. Curious, Darsh asked him what's the notebook for. He explained it's to take notes. Turns out from beginning of first year, heck even before, he hasn't been doing any notes. He has just read through, and read it again before the exam, and that was it. He felt that a few subjects in CA3 has new terms he can't remember, so he decided to start writing notes.
Jo does really good, mind you.

I know a handful of people like that. People who can just read over 20 chapts each of 7 subjects TWICE and score their exams. Gifted, people call it.
I wonder what it's like to be like that.

I would be on page 12 and when I read page 14 and feel something confusing, I gotta go back to page 12. I finished one chapter and in the middle of the other, I'll get confused and go back to the previous chapter. I told this to my dad and he says it's because I'm not concentrating.
No, that's not it. I do concentrate, every word, as if I'm drinking it. But it just doesn't go in, not like that.

I wonder if they know they're gifted. I wonder if they know how frustrating it is to have to read something over and over again, and forget it the next minute. I wonder if they know that I'd give anything to be in their shoes.

I'm not comparing or anything, it's just, sure, everyone is gifted with some sort of a talent. How does it happen?  How did God plan it?
Random numbering?
According to His mood?

If everyone has their gifts, what's mine?
I don't think I've any actually.
Except maybe complicating situations, hurting people and being a brat.
If THAT's a gift, I'm a huge present.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone has it? That ability to just excel just like that?
Then it wouldn't even matter. Everyone would be able to follow their dreams.
A doctor, a lawyer, a painter.. No matter what, you would just be good in it. And happy, contented, that you're doing something you love.

I know I know. God is like ''But then darling, you wouldn't learn ANYTHING''.
(Yes, I do that. Make sentences as if God's talking to me).

This is really some crappy random post.
I should go sleep. It's almost 1.30, and I've class at 9am.

When I'm Sad

 I look at baby pictures.

   Because they are too cute.

Word.

If you don't have a bullet-proof heart, you better have a water-proof mascara

A friend of mine, her boyfriend, posted a status on skype. It said

''Does it really get that boring after a while?''

It hurt her really bad. I mean, why wouldn't it? My heart dropped when I read it, imagine how she would have taken it. 

She has been studying hard lately. Her resolution for the new term. She rearranged her priorities and didn't spend much time with him compared to before. But she told me a few days ago that it's alright, because she's studying over here while he's studying over there because his exams are coming up soon. And that was what she thought. He thought differently. 

Did he enter into this relationship thinking it's all going to be fun and games? That it's always going to be butterflies and love in the air? When she asked him what was the status about, he explain, said they aren't as how they were before. 

Karunya then said there's the honeymoon period when two people get into a relationship, but the honeymoon period would come to an end. After a certain period, you just go back to your daily routine, but still loving and making time for each other. Because there's still other things in life. Not to say that other things are more important, but they are there. 

I agree with her. I think things change, with life. May be for the better or for the worst. How you are now with someone, may not be how you will be like in the future. You must not let that define your relationship. Sure, they may used to calling or texting each other, but if those are gone, that doesn't mean so is the relationship. The relationship is worth much more than calls, texts or sending gifts through the mail. 

There may be constantly missing and needing her when she's busy, but you have to trust that she's doing the best she can, and if she could, she would have called or texted. Don't jump to the conclusion that she's just choosing not get back to you. Accept that things change, and if the change is necessary or for the better of something, go along with it. Adapt to it. It'll be a new adventure.

Trust. And always being there for each other. Get that Hollywood picture out of your head. It does not mean literally being there for each other (though sure, that would be wonderful) but being there for each other in times of need. If she has to study, give her space to. She would come back to you, because you're important. You have to trust that you're important. 

And think before you say anything. I don't think it was very nice of him to post that he thinks his relationship has gotten boring on someplace public. 

She replied very politely on Twitter though :

''I think sometimes guys should think before they say something because it can be just 

so freaking hurting''

Karunya posted something that is verytheJD. 

''All you mouth-no-insurance people should just go jump off a clift''

Because honestly,

if you're not going to stay for the bad times, then you sure as hell don't deserve to stay for the good times.

When Kirshath came over to visit me hahaha

I am

LEFT BRAIN- I am the left brain
I am a scientist. A mathematician.
I love the familiar, I categorize. I am accurate. Linear.
Analytical. Strategic. I am practical.
Always in control. A master of words and lenguage.
Realistic. I calculate ecuations and play with numbers.
I am order. I am logic.
I know exactly who I am.

RIGHT BRAIN- I am the right brain.
I am creativity, a free spirit. I am passion.
Yearning . Sensuality. I am the sound of the roaring laughter .
I am taste. The feeling of sand beneath bare feet.
I am movement. Vivid colors,
I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas,
I am boundless imagination. Art. Poetry. I sense. I feel.
I am everything I want to be.

Great way to start the new month

Past few days have been sad. Depressing.
Spend it either sleeping, reading, crying, or going around serious-face. Fake smiles too.


It's when you've been telling yourself you're strong and you can handle this.
And you're handling it.
Then a day comes when you wake up and realise you've just been lying to yourself all along.
You haven't been handling it.
You've just been pushing yourself, but not exactly getting anywhere.

Hope things get better.
Hope I get better.
Because it's not fair.
And I refuse to accept ''Life's like that''.

It didn't kill me.

You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone  

You know I dream in color  

And do the things I want

You think you got the best of me  

Think you've had the last laugh  

Bet you think that everything good is gone  

Think you left me broken down  

Think that I'd come running back  

Baby you don't know me, 

cause you're dead wrong

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  

Stand a little taller  

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone  
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter  
Footsteps even lighter  
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller  
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new
They told you I was moving on over you
You didn't think that I'd come back I'd come back swinging  

You try to break me But you see... 

Thanks to you I got a new thing started  
Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted  
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me  
You know in the end the day you left
was just my beginning In the end...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  

Stand a little taller 

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter  

Doesn't mean I'm lonely

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger