Quotes

"It is not in the stars that hold our destiny but in ourselves."

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

To get what you want, but not what you need

It's usually one way or another.. Back in Cyber, I always get what I needed, not I wanted. And because of that, I guess I was pretty much miserable. I had to FORCE myself to be happy ..and yes, in the long run, the faking sorta became true. But the effort put into happiness, wasn't something I would have wanted it to be in the first place. But looking back now, the year was fruitful. I don't regret anything, those experiences were needed to make me, and I am so very grateful.

Over here, I realise, I am getting what I want. I am happy, I don't have to force myself to be, happiness comes, just like that, no effort needed. But then, this scares me. How will this turn out?

I've always had this feeling since I was younger, that everything is mapped out for me. I have to start telling myself that it is my choices and my decisions that affects everything that comes next. I shouldn't be walking on the path paved for me by others, or the path I think I should go, but instead to walk the path I want to.

I've been praying a lot lately, asking God for his guidance.. What pulled me back to him? Fear, uncertainty, confusion..but above all, I needed Him. To remind me of who I am, who I'm suppose to be and what I'm suppose to do here. I keep straying, I notice. Even right now, I've strayed off. I can keep telling myself this is wrong, what I'm doing is wrong, but then , I just continue off. I know it's because of my curiousity, on whether I can walk this path and still make this work. But the fear is here because I'm a person who always gravitates towards familiarity. Unlike people like Henrina.

She would try out everything..when she bought a new printer, she was just pressing every button, not afraid of the result of her actions. When she buys anything, she would handle them like she owns them for so long, eventhough it was her first time using it and she does not know how. I on the other hand, I hesitate. I think, I stare, I handle it slowly, softly..but in the end, I always end up calling someone else for help. I was afraid of making my own mistakes, even though sometimes, mistakes are suppose to be made. So we can learn from them.

So when face with a choice to walk down the path that I know, and the path I don't, eventhough I am ALREADY on the unknown path, I keep stopping, hesitating..I can't stop thinking about the familiar path, and how much safer if I'm on that road. But then again, I'm not turning back. I just keep worrying and worrying, but still not making the change I need to.

Just worrying.
If this will turn out well.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I've got a friend

I've got this friend
I don't think you know her
She sings a simple song
It sounds a lot like his

Oh I've got this friend
Holding onto her heart
Like it's a little secret
Like it's all she's got to give

Ohh, if the right one came
If the right one came along
Ohh, if the right one came, along


I love watching people, observing them, watching the things they'll do when they think no ones watching. You can sorta have a glimpse into the kind of person they are. No, you can't know a person by just looking at them, but by bits and pieces of their actions, you sorta get a picture.

Of all people I watch, my favourite is when one does not do anything. He or she would just be sitting there and staring off, into the horizon, thinking. I love to see their facial expression, and the lines on the forehead as they think hard, their head filled with thoughts jumping here and there. I'd like to figure out what they're thinking but mostly, I just watch.

In AIMST, I get frustrated.. Because everyone's connected. I can sit and observe something, then finding something out through an observation, and I can sorta solve the problem because I observed someone else who has the answers. But then, I'm not the scriptwriter aren't I? I can't just play them like their chess pieces, eventhough I want to so much, because I know that would result in a happier ending.

But then again, we all need a little bit of sadness here and there right? Then we'd know to appreciate happiness. And there's no rush in that. All in good time. :)

MORE

You know the SWITCH shop in village mall, the one we always go and play with their APPLE stuffs? the macbook, the ipad, the ipod..and we always take TONS of pictures there, and leave them? :D And everyone will be staring at us.. :D then, we go on facebook at the shop itself and post all the pictures. Like these :

There's actually tons of people staring at us around, but sucks, can't see them. Sigh, feeling like a SUPERSTAR much? :P

okay, now I feel so sakai-ish =.=

BUT IT'S A TRADITION!
WE HAVE TO DO IT EVERY TIME WE GO THERE. :)
Nevermind the stares.
Because we're cool like that. :P

MEDICAL STUDENTS. =.=

This is what we've been doing lately... We've also recorded tons of vids of ourselves singing and laughing around. HILARIOUS. But then henrina wants to post them on facebook. We're like NOOO WAAYYYYY.

They'd kill me if they knew I uploaded this pic : HAHAHAHA

Don't ya think Darsh and Darsh makes an excellent couple? :P Everyone says we complement each other well..hahaha :D


The three of us :)

This is our true inner selves. Yes, we're actually Ju-On reincarnated. :P


:p
FUNNY LAHHH.
EXPECT MORE TO COME. :p
YES YES PEACE OUT. :p

Monday, September 19, 2011

No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they're pretty, even if they aren't.


“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world.

As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie?

So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”





Thursday, September 15, 2011

Just wanna say congratulations!

The SPM trial results are out and my dad called me to tell me what Arun had achieved. He got :

6 'A+'s, 2 'A's, 2 'A-'s.. My dad was a bit disappointed that he missed out on the last two cause when they check the paper, it was silly mistakes, and my dad does not like silly mistakes. -.-

But I, for one, am so proud of my brother. :)

CONGRATULATIONS on achieving such awesome results, and for being the TOP STUDENT IN RMC. #1 is your spot, right there. Not to say anything, but RMC is like, you have to be a really GOOD student to get in there, and to be the best CONSISTENTLY among the rest, is really an awesome thing.

But knowing Arun, he'd still be stressing out and push himself further.
It's a good thing, cause he can rest afterwards. :) .. I'm worried for his wellbeing, but about him achieving AWESOME RESULTS for SPM later, that I have no doubt at all.

Guess he's gonna apply for tons of scholarships now.
And he's aiming for ONE in particular.
Medicine, in IRELAND.
I'll pray for him.

But yeah, am so freaking prouddd.. :)

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Henrina's blogging this=p

I want to go eat NOW.

Like NOW.

Or not I'll DIE.

It's like GOSSIP GIRL IN AIMST!

DRAMA. DRAMA. DRAMA.

The fun, the fights, the rumors, the gossips, the heartbreaks, the tears, the friendship, the laughters.
It's crazy.

And it scares me, that studies are right now not the main focus of my life.
No, it really is. It is the main focus, it's the distractions I guess.
And getting into dramas, are not the kind of person I am.
Its a totally different environment, that's for sure.

I can honestly tell you, that you guys will love watching us. THAT's how DRAMATIC we are. I don't think I'm dramatic though, but hanging out with dramatic people sorta get you there, don't you think? Like Jenny & Dan, and how they got involved.

I can't blog about what's going on/happened because
1) Too public
2) I'll let Gossip Girl do her job ;)

Yes, we have a ''gossipgirl'' in our bunch too. And yes, she has a blog. Good luck finding it. ;)

A part of me is happy, because at the end of this journey, the beginning of another, I can look back at this and see much more..more than books and notes and exams.

''you know you love me,
xoxo, gossip girl. ;)''

RANDOM

I was in the study area and then I felt like I couldn't breathe. Seriously, my asthma is catching up on me. =.= Then I went out and sat for a while, staring at the greens and the lake when I heard bells. I look up.

Saw this cute 3 year old girl dancing around by herself. She had anklets on her ankle and I'm guessing she loves hearing the bells. She keeps stomping her feet, pause for a bit (seemed like she was 'DIGESTING' the sound) then she giggles to herself.

Surprisingly, there were no one else around. It seemed like she was there by herself. I thought it odd, but decided to just watch her. She kept giggling to herself, and it was so cute.

Sure enough, around 15 minutes later, some girl came and carried her. She's an aimst student but ..yeah ive no idea how they're related. The kid started moaning, pointing to the ground, indicating she wanted to walk instead. I'm guessing she wasn't bored of the bells yet.

The elder girl refused to put her down..and what made me smile like crazy was that the little girl, the cute kiddo, eventhough she was being carried, she started swinging her feet at every direction she could. She could still hear the bells.

Aww. :)

Sunday, September 11, 2011

When you're with someone SUPERSKINNY

You look SUPERFAT. :p


superskinny =.=
I love this t-shirt :D Bought it at TESCO KEDAH :p Went to the clinic because I couldn't take coughing so much. Guess what? I'm getting my asthma back! =.= NOT HAPPY AT ALL. Tons of meds to take. :(

I know I look happy. But that's because it rained. :)

Heartbreaks

The other day I was sitting and talking to Sugentha when Vi messaged. I was halfway replying the text when Sugentha went all ''Ooooo your boyfriend??'' .. Me ''Um, nope=.= Vivian :)'' .. She - ''Yeah but don't lie I know you have a boyfrienddddd'' .. me ''Err ..no lahhhhh'' .. she '' Don't lie laaa pandi. You so prettyyyy and girly girl sure many guys like you. Not like mee.. So saddd ahhh :(''

The conversation went on to how I explained to her how awesome she is and her denying it.

Sugentha is a really awesome person. She says the most randomest things that can literally crack me up until I had to sit down on the floor to stop myself from laughing, because my stomach hurts so much. She's really loving and caring, and very thoughtful too. Like, when I refused to eat because of *the F word*, she literally fed me. =.= When some of my friends left their plates at the cafe table and left, she didn't want to burden the cleanliness dude, so she took all the plates and put them at the wash section. Ain't she sweet? I couldn't help thinking about the way she feels.

But guys, well not ALL (ain't gonna stereotype cause I know a few wonderful guys) are so influenced by the mass media, about 'hot' and 'sexy'. My friends here told me that guys have that checklist, and that they wouldn't give the time of the day to someone who does not qualifies the list, as in, they won't think about them in that way.

I know the immaturity of this but it's sorta already been proven. I know tons of guys like that. I'm friends with them.

Like Sugentha for example. She may not be 'the dream' but I for one, thinks she's beautiful and wonderfully perfect. :) I understand that yes, it's those guys' loss for not knowing how wonderful she really is but it sucks that they make someone as wonderful as her feel so horrible about herself.

GRR. PISSED GILERRR.

And beside me another heartbreak story. :( Sigh..sedihnye.
Makes me wanna go beat those guys up. =.=

Oh yes, I'm VERY capable.
Don't mess with me. GRR.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead..

- Someone Like You by Adele. :( Everyone gets sad when they listen to this. Divv, Karu, Henrina..it's like, a bunch of ADELE EMO FREAKS. :/ They'll listen to it in class too and emo. Sigh drama people. I'm the worst though. I cry. =.=''

Past experience or not, nonetheless, it is a good song.

And I love this video.


I cried at that too.

The lyrics :

I heard
That you're settled down
That you
Found a girl
And you're
Married now

I heard
That your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things
I didn't give to you

Old friend
Why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back
Or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday
It was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise
Of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known
How bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.

VINOSHA, go listen to this. :P Since you're always asking me for songs.. haha.. :)

The life of a medical student is full of drama. And I just started.
This is going to be interesting ;)

I'm making full use of my VIVAZ PRO WHITE. :P

Yes not like THE IPHONE but, I'm thankful I have a phone! :) :) And it's soo cool. Can slide it up with the keypads..and act all professional padahal mcm kid excited :P

Am I really getting older or younger? I feel like I'm aging backwards =.=''

Meet grace's bunny! .. Guess what's it's name?

BUNNY! :D

I've always been afraid of him..since last time, cause of the way it's body vibrates.. And all of a sudden he just runs..super fast..then at times he just SITS there, staring.. =.='' UNPREDICTABLE GILERRR..

Afraid to hold him but I've improved tons! :D
FAKE SMILE.. =.= I was thinking ''OHH NOO BUNNY DON'T JUMP ON ME''

Grace torturing her bunny. :P

I used to have rabbits when I was younger and still lived in puchong. It was a birthday present from dad. Came home from school one day when Arun came running out screaming ''APPA BOUGHT RABBITS FOR YOU!! BUT I WANT THEM!!'' .. and I was like ''Don't lie please =.='' cause my mum can't stand animals. But sure enough, as we entered the house, ta-da :D I was happy giler.

Then one of 'em died. The snowy white one. I cried for days.. =.= Then mum gave away the other black one so that we won't kill him too.. :( ..

Then my dad bought goldfishes.. :D And we were excited again :D Wee, fishes, so cool kan? :D ..

We killed them too. All of them. :(

Hari & Vino always had pets in their house. Ever since I can remember. It's either the dogs or the birds, or ..well, surely something. And everytime they had puppies, Hari would call me and I'd BEG for one. But mum would always say NO. So I only played with them during sleepovers ..

Then abishek & Arvindra came into this world (dramatic) and my dad bought hamsters :D Two hamsters.

One died.

My dad bought another one.

The old one died.

My dad bought another one.

Both died.

=.=

KILLER FAMILY.

Out of topic. yes you caught me. I don't want to study.. T.T
But I have to.. so yeahh..

Ciaoo :)

Because Karunya lost her iphone with MILLIONS of pictures in them :(

Ta-da. Make do with second best :P :

In starbucks, we bumped into two kids, who sat and played UNO with us. So cute :) .. And funny thing was, everyone thought they didn't know how to play UNO so they kept bullshitting the kids (not me, I was busy aww-ing at their cuteness haha).. that even when they lost, Sugentha was all ''You have the MOST cards! yay you win!'' .. :) Towards the end though, the girl was teaching her younger bro how to play UNO.. and she was teaching him the RIGHT way.. I burst out laughing like crazy, everyone's expression was PRICELESS. :p


Sugentha teaching them high5s :)

The other day in a BORING class.. Henrina & Thiva sits in front of me. Sigh thiva and that killer stare .. Like he wants to eat me up..grr =.=

Divvan on my left, playing the ipad. Concentrating right? :P

Karunya on my right, don't know doing what o.o''

Henrina & I :p

In the bus on the way back from KL to SG.PETANI. Reva & Ashvinia :)

Back in KL, we had our 3 in 1 birthday party celebration at the park. So the very funny. :P Hilarious gilerr..people were staring at us. Oh well, we party like we're rockstars kan? - so called :P .. Grace & Vi was like high that day. I was - T.T- cause going back to Kedah the next day.. :'(

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Random #2


PIG anyone?


Eating cake, like a pig.


Arun & I

But then again..

There's Always A Place In Me You Can Call Home

Finished studying today's stuffs, and it's not even 6pm yet. I'm a happy child. :)

I guess I'll study some more tonight, and then I can sleep peacefully. Reva was right after all, ''keep at your own pace. It's only when you start following others' paces, that's when you screw up.'' .. My pace is just fine. :)

In CUCMS, everyday was sorta about studying, studying studying.. but in AIMST, honestly, dramaaa gilerrr.. :o You wouldn't really know but I'm quite an observer (people-watching, it's a wonderful hobby really) ..it's not that I'm poking into other people's business, it's just that I happen to see and hear all the wrong things at the right time. =.='' And I don't like it.. I like just having my head filled with education, than stories about other people's lives and lies. =.='' TAK. NAK.

:)

Anything that´s worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitings out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight some more
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love
Its worth having its worth fighting for


Henrina keeps replaying this song over & over again. Giving me semangat haha.. :)

Monday, September 5, 2011

RANDOM

Sunburned terribly =.=''

Back in Kedah and gearing up studying everyday. Kononya everyday actually =.= since it's just my second day back today :P I should go study now..

I've a feeling I'm falling sick. Sore throat, headaches, body ache. But no wayy, I WON'T fall sick. Not here, and definitely NOT NOW. Darshini's immune system, work HARDER please.

Drinking lots of water than I've ever drank in a day before, but yet, somehow I still don't feel enough :P I'm going swimming later, I think. I'm not sure.. I'm sleepy, but need to study..choices, choices choices..

''We keep running after people who least care about us.
Why don't we just stop, turn around. and see the ones running behind us.''

I've got LOTS to blog about, but I've been just saving it in my head, hoping someday, I'd find the time.
Someday. =.=

Gotta go study, have an awesome week! :)