Yeah, it's hard.

In high school, if you don't study, you fail.
You study, you get a C.
You study a bit harder, you get a B.
You study very hard, and you get an A.

In medical school, you don't study, you fail.
You study, you fail.
You study a bit harder, you fail.
You study VERY hard, you get a C.
You study EXTREMELY hard, you get a B.
You study without sleeping, without eating, without a social life, you get an A.

Metalmouth

I just realised that I forgot to introduce my blog to the new braces me.

Which isn't new anymore I suppose haha.

Homesick

Everything is different when you're living away from home.

When something bad happens, it affects you much more when you're not at home. You get frustrated easily, sad easily, angered easily. It's like your threshold to handling all the crappy issues has been lowered, and you need so much more self-control to hold yourself in place.

I feel that because I'm away from home, I must get special treatment from all those close to me who are at home. Like if I complain about the food, then they should be able to sympathise and say things like ''I'm sorry, you will get good food when you come home'' instead of ''chill la''. Because that just gets me angry even more.

You are at the comforts of your own home. You get good food everyday. If you have a bad day at college, you can go home to your comfortable bed. If you feel blue or sad, you can just go and watch some television with your family or play with your dog.

I am in a jungle. The food I get is horrible. The kind where you eat and it tastes weird, gives you a burning sensation in your stomach and makes you feel like you want to throw up. And the kind of food where you ocasionally find insects in it. If I have a bad day at college, I go to my room, IN college. If I feel blue or sad, there is nothing for me to go to be distracted. No family, no dog. Just the studies. All the time. Because that's what it's like in college, no matter what you do, you are always reminded that you are here to study. No matter the sucky place or the sucky experiences.

So forgive me if I'm always sad, blue, easily angered. My circumstances are as such. I do try to be happy and optimistic, but how long can one hold in so much emotions?

Not when you're where I am, studying what I study and eating what I eat.

I'm not comparing and saying that my life is sucky or what not. I am not a whiny brat who always want things to be up top and perfect.
I am just a homesick child.

And you won't know what it's like until you're far away from home too.

Random :)

Teddy

Omg I just realised that I have not blogged about one particular important sweetheart of mine!

Teddy :) Got him two months back andddd he totally has my heart. :) We named him Teddy because, well for one he looks like a small teddy bear. And two, he was sitting on the floor quietly and family walking passed literally thought he was a toy. :)

             This was when we first got him. Still surprises me how small and scared he looked.

A few weeks later :

  That was the first time he was brought outside the house. Haha

TEDDY & I :)

And after he went grooming. Look how chubby he looks! :)

Still a baby, this pig. He can't run straight without falling, he still slips when he walks (balance issues) and as you can see, he sits like that. FLOP on the ground. haha..cutiepie. I can't wait to see him! :)

Btw this one is a licker. He just licks nonstop, which me lurve. <3 :)

They made my day

Before you read this post, please click on the link below and read that first because, well..then it'll help you enjoy this post better ;)

Click this link right here

And now, you have my permission to read this post :P (think Bane in Batman).

So I went to Malacca because Aunt Shoba gave birth to a baby girl! Wee :) But couldn't see her though. The cutiepie had breathing problems and had to spend some time in an incubator. No one was allowed anywhere near her. I don't mind so much, as long as she's safe :)

Also, I didn't mind so much because I got to spend time with her cousins. Yes, the three boys. They're all grown up! Wee :)

Like Kirshath for example. Click here to refresh your memory about Kirshath He can walk now. But he doesn't even walk, he runs. So cute. With his blur expression on his face :) I could only get ONE picture becaue whenevere I try to take a picture, he screams. He likes spending time with Abishek. So he plays with Abi all the timee.

Baby just woke up you see. :P I've no picture of him in action though. haha

Next is baby Ritesh. Remember Ritesh? He is the baby who sticks out his tongue when he gets exciteddd. And guess what? He still does it. Soo cutee. It's so hard to take a picture of him when he does that because his tongue goes out and goes back in. But here, lucky snap ;)

Him with his blur expression. Whenever someone talks, this is the expression he gives. BLURRRR. :)

And then, the third boy, Rikhil. Turns out pignose ain't so pig nose after all. His nose is super sharp. And his eyes are HUGE. like superHUGEEEE.

 Look.At.That.Face. Innocent faceee. :) haha. He always raises his eyebrows like that. I've tons of pics of him giving me this face haha :)

 He can't crawl yet. Just lie down on the floor and shake about. Funny thing is this boy is younger than Ritesh and Ritesh can crawl. But Rikhil is BIGGER than Ritesh and so much more heavier. Definitely a pig. :)

And he has a lovely smile :) This was when I was playing hide and seek with him using my phone haha.

It gets harder for me to get a picture of them now that they're older and able to move around a lot. It's okay though, tons of videos.

Aren't they all so cuteee? :):)

Mine. ;)

2nd year Medical School

I am back in AIMST for 2nd year of medical school. It's Monday and we just had a briefing on how year2 is going to be like. From the CAs and Problem based learning, up 'till our Professional Examination 2. I found it kinda scary at first, because we've pass every block to be eligible for the Final exam. Compared to year1, it was the accumulation of the marks. Oh well, can't be easy all the time huh?

o.o

I'm happy to see everyone back though from the hols. Talking and laughing away.

Can't wait for this friday, going home for the raya hols. :P Gee, look at me, classes haven't even started yet and I'm already thinking about hols. =.= haha

No, it's not because of the whole ''I don't wanna study''..it's ''I don't want to study FAR AWAY FROM HOME''.

Heroes

I've always wanted to try out Heroes because they used to play really cool advertisments of Heroes on tv.

Well, it is less exciting than I thought it would be. Like, I was watching House before I started Heroes and House still have my attention more. Not sure if it's the medical in me talking or maybe something else.

But Heroes does have it's perks. I mean, it is interesting. The different stories and all. I love the characters. I think they truly did put together an amazing cast for the series. And well, Heroes kinda scare me. I'll be watching and I can feel the fear in me, but it's interesting and I'm hooked so I keep on watching. And THAT is why I'm blogging here at 3a.m in the morning.

Everytime I turn the tv off after Heroes (like just now, for example), I get so scared I have to plan my 'escape' to my room before anything gets me. I know I know, I do that ALL the time. But the fear this time is intensified. On the way up to my room, I just keep reminding myself ''Darsh, you're not special! You don't have any ability! You have nothing to be afraid of''. But then again, it's funny how I use THAT as comfort. Because damn, I sure want to have an ability!

Was bored at 2am in the morning in my pyjamas

Have I told you how much I L.O.V.E my Samsung Galaxy S2? She is not only beautiful but she is just amazing. It's like some mini assistant in my hand. I think this is the phone I've been looking for all my life, and I never want to lose this one. For sure.

This holidays, I will be out, getting in touch with the environment, nature, family etc. :) But for now, what I can show you that I will be doing :

Watching HEROES! I was actually gonna buy HOUSE but there wasn't any. So I'm getting HOUSE downloaded. I know I know,why don't I download HEROES too? Haha, because I want to watch with my entire family. And my tv ain't a smart one (I don't mean that figuratively) and so I cannot connect my hard disk to it. So DVDs all the way. I got HEROES because I want my brothers to be able to enjoy it too.

Actually finishing this book. This book is so deep and very depressing. I stopped reading this during my first year as I needed my optimisim and positivity to get me through the exams. Now I'm done with first year, I can actually do deep and emotional reading.

And read two other books. Beautiful is mine, Henny read it and told me it's good and I should read it asap (which I'm actually gonna do after a few months haha). And Jo's book the tatoo. Jd told me it's good so I'm gonna give it a try. :)

And cut my hair! It's so heavy and all over the place, it annoys me. When I took this picture, it scared the crap out of me. Especially since it's raining heavily outside, with thunder and all. Andddd I editted it in black and white to give you the chills. Ju-on. Maybe? No? haha..

Kays, the rain is getting heavier, I shall go sleep now. Lovely weather. :) Night!

Found this!

So I was just going through my stuffs. I am actually a hoarder. I just save everything, can't throw it away. I have emotional attachment with almost everything I have. Um, no not almost. With EVERYTHING I have. So I was just going through all my treasures/stuffs when I found ... half completed scrapbook Vi and I worked on during the holidays after our SPM! :)

We wanted to make a scrapbook that contain all our amazing memories and awesome people in our lives back then.

The first one. I have no idea why I can't rotate this grr. This was the plainest one cause it was the first that we did. Haha.. Our graduation!! We were gonna make another one with the entire class too :)

 Check out our blue robes!! ROCKING THE HOUSEE! :p 

This one was made about all the important people in our lives back then. Haha, it's kinda funny how some people aren't in our lives anymore. Oh wait, she kept those with her. I realised that the important people in Vi's life back then is still the same right now. But for me, there's a few people out. And haha, if you asked me back then would I be sad, I would have said DEFINITELY. But now, I'm cool with it. Some people just have to go I guess. Memories made, lessons learned. :) But thanks to all of you for having made me smile at least once back then! :)

 It was name PIECES because everyone were pieces of our lives. The 'I' is missing though. And have you noticed the photos are placed on a puzzle piece?? :D Ain't that cool! Haha, and the blue paper is scribbled with all our favourite songs :)

This one is about the debate team. And how far we journeyed. Every member is included here. And the yellow circles are 3D! They are soft and they stick out! :)

 Again, background scribbled with craps :P haha

This was our class! 4 Science 1 and 5 Science 1. Spot us! :)

This is my FAVOURITE! The Debate Moments we had! Of course we couldn't put them all in here. But here's some of it. The meals we had, debate party, our craziness at Tesco after a win (or was it a lose? haha). See, can't remember whether we won or lose but I remember the fun. Life is like that! :)

 You can see us all smiling happily. I love my debate team and my debate experience!

This was suppose to be a surprise to others too. We planned that once we completed the scrapbook, we would snap pictures of it and tag everyone in it on facebook to show them how important they are in our lives, that they made a difference. :)

So this is the half-completed scrapbook. We just got too busy I guess. With life.

Random

I'm not good at expressing my feelings, so I keep everything bottled inside. Half the time I want to tell people what I feel, but I don't even know how to. So I remain quiet.

But that does not mean I'm just filled with everything dark or sadness. That's one misconception people have about silent people. That they're just ''sad''.

That's wrong.
I'm just bursting with everything colourful on the inside. :)

Too colourful, too much of everything nice that I do not know how to express myself.
It can get rather confusing.

The end of Year 1

So results came out and thank God, I passed! I passed first year! That is so awesome. I was very relieved and was so happy. Like crazy. It was all His blessing and His grace for sureee. Thank you dear Lord for everything!

However, I couldn't really be that happy. Some friends got supplementary (but they will make it for sure) but one of my friends failed. She has to repeat first year. And this makes me sad.

Because all I want is for all of us to make it through all five years.
Graduating medical school.
Together.

Post-finals (PENANG TRIP)

Well, gotta talk about the awesome trip now.

Left on Friday at around 3pm. It was in a rush cause exam just finished and Vi was already waiting for us in the hotel. So took a cab, went to the jetty. Took the ferry across to the island.

Here's three of us on the ferry.

Then we met Aaron on the other side, took a cab to the hotel. Where we realised all the hotels that have rooms that fits our budgets were all booked (Arab holidays, go figure). Sat in a hotel lobby and dialed every hotel we knew (it was hilarious) but to no avail. Then we found out about Berjaya Hotel and decided to go there. On the way, we ''bumped'' into Georgetown Hotel. It was small, cute and much cheaper..so we decided to go with it. Stayed all three nights there haha.

The Lovely Couple chillin' in the hotel lobby

And then, that night we went for hawker food and went to the mall later on. Few pics : 

Next day, woke up, went for a massage. Thai massage. It was really good and relaxing. But because it was our first time, we were laughing like mad. Also at first it was kinda uncomfortable because all we had covering us was a small towel =.='' I even saw some parts I wasn't suppose to see, mind you. But all in all, it was a good and relaxing experience. I liked it but not as much as Aaron. He loved it so much, he even fell asleep. The rest of us girls were so hyper and laughed ourselves throughout the entire massage.

Then we went to the mall, did some shopping and hanged out. Matthew joined us. Random pics :

 The couple. :) 

 The bro couple ;) 

The girls ;)

And then went for dinner yadayadayada. 

 We were first at Clinic Cafe but we missed the hawker food so much we paid a 2nd visit ;)

Haha, next day, went for indian food lunch and had AWESOME AMAZING fun at the beach :)

Henny drank coconut juice everywhere we went =.=''

We swim, swam, modelled, had water fight, build sand castles. Had tons of fun that pictures just can't show it (partly because my phone ain't water proof so it's best that its stored away safely ;) haha

The beach! Check out us all wet and covered in sand. And still can take pictures. #awesomelikethat

Don't miss the reflection on my shades!

 Happy giler. Aaron looks like he's high on Fanta haha

Oh and not forgetting the random camwhoring we did here and there all those days! :)

 All the sweeties ;) Don't tell me you don't get sugar rush from seeing this ;) haha

All of us! :) <3

There are tons more pics but then again it's almost 2am in the morning and I've a picnic to go tomorrow. Gotta wake up early and make sandwhiches. haha No sexist joke please. :P

Again, PENANG trip was awesome. Can't wait for the next trip. We've already planned the places and all. Just gotta wait till the next exams, and then the hols ;)