Homesick

Everything is different when you're living away from home.

When something bad happens, it affects you much more when you're not at home. You get frustrated easily, sad easily, angered easily. It's like your threshold to handling all the crappy issues has been lowered, and you need so much more self-control to hold yourself in place.

I feel that because I'm away from home, I must get special treatment from all those close to me who are at home. Like if I complain about the food, then they should be able to sympathise and say things like ''I'm sorry, you will get good food when you come home'' instead of ''chill la''. Because that just gets me angry even more.

You are at the comforts of your own home. You get good food everyday. If you have a bad day at college, you can go home to your comfortable bed. If you feel blue or sad, you can just go and watch some television with your family or play with your dog.

I am in a jungle. The food I get is horrible. The kind where you eat and it tastes weird, gives you a burning sensation in your stomach and makes you feel like you want to throw up. And the kind of food where you ocasionally find insects in it. If I have a bad day at college, I go to my room, IN college. If I feel blue or sad, there is nothing for me to go to be distracted. No family, no dog. Just the studies. All the time. Because that's what it's like in college, no matter what you do, you are always reminded that you are here to study. No matter the sucky place or the sucky experiences.

So forgive me if I'm always sad, blue, easily angered. My circumstances are as such. I do try to be happy and optimistic, but how long can one hold in so much emotions?

Not when you're where I am, studying what I study and eating what I eat.

I'm not comparing and saying that my life is sucky or what not. I am not a whiny brat who always want things to be up top and perfect.
I am just a homesick child.

And you won't know what it's like until you're far away from home too.