Sunshine

I realised that I have been very hard on myself these past couple of years. I put high expectations and when I don't meet them, I would give myself a very hard time. The thoughts that run through my head, of not being good enough , of not being worthy, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not helpful enough. I never take the time to thank myself for all the good things I am.

And all I see in other people are the good things. Which is good, because my mind just seems to skip past all the other things. I like the way I view people. Of their wonderful character, good nature, lovely voice and all that. But then the judging in me comes, and I put myself way below anybody else.

I am now learning to forgive myself for everything I am not. It is okay to fail, once in a while. It is okay to make mistakes, to hurt other people on accident, to screw up. But what's not okay is holding myself accountable and making myself feel like I have to be punnished for every wrongdoings in my life. I find it easy to forgive people, but very hard to forgive myself. And this time, I am going to work on myself, to feed myself positivity and take awway the negativity. It's tirering and it drains your soul. I don't want to be that anymore.

I am going to try to be the sunshine, for myself.