First, I realise I get so absorbed. When people get hurt in movies, I cry out in pain. I go 'ow ah argh! ohh oww' and cover my face. My brothers finds it hilarious, but honestly, I do feel pain. So much pain that sometimes I wish I can just walk out of the cinema.
When people cry, I cry. Even if it's for something ridiculous, I can't stop the tears from flowing.
Then I realise, it's not just the movies.
Back when I was younger, I used to cry every time I read the papers. From the front page news, my eyes tears up, and when I get to the more horrifying stories, I break down crying. It came to point where I stopped reading the papers, except for the tv guide. A few years later (present), I can read the papers. When my eyes tears up, I stare hard, breathe evenly and control myself to turn the page. Yes, self-control. It works.
When I hit stuffs, I apologise. Yes, to inanimate objects. People always asks me why. Why do I talk to table and chairs and walls? I usually just shrug it off. You see, I don't PLAN to say ''I'm sorry'' when I accidently drop a book. I just feel 'pain' and the apology comes out, just like that. Though one friend made a joke, and said that I should apologise to my shoe every step I take, for stepping on them. Ha-Ha very funny. =='' But true, nonetheless.
A couple of years ago, my debate teacher, Miss Nina noticed me apologising to inanimate objects, and notice the others teasing me about it (Sakai debate team! :P) .. but then she said I was full of empathy. I was happy that I could relate to a ..moral value? haha..
But now I don't like it so much. I cry easily, get emotional easily.
And it's not even for MY reasons. It's for others.
I don't like feeling the pain in my heart, especially that it's not my pain.
It's not selfish, it's just..who would want to feel pain anyways?
Definitely not me.
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