Happiness

The other day I was recalling an incident to Vi and I realised..I could tell everything from A-Z. Every memory, every word, every expression, I had them sewed to my mind. And when I was trying to recall another incident, it was a blurry image. Not that it was completely forgotten, no..but it took even harder for me to tell..because of loopholes here and there.

The difference between those two memories? The first being a hurtful one, the second being a joyful one.

I'm not sure if it's just me, or if it happens to everyone else too, but I can recall perfectly hurtful events that has occured in the past. I think it's because of the strong emotions you feel. Feeling pain is a much more stronger emotion than feeling happiness. And when you feel something so strong, everything gets embedded in your mind.. the feeling, the hurtful words, the angry tones, the sarcastic smiles.. Until even by just thinking about it, you can feel the same emotions you felt all those years ago.. Ironic isn't it? To remember clearly what hurts, when all you wish for is to forget.

But then I think, happiness is what you CHOOSE to remember. If you choose to remember the happy bits of your life, then you'll be happy..instead of remembering the hurtful events..

But then..what if you don't get to choose? What if it's just forced into your memory? No matter how hard I want to get it out, get it erased..I can't. It's been done, it has happened. And it's not going to go anywhere until...you do something about it.

To forgive, and accept what has happened. To let go of the emotions you felt, feel. And move on. Only then your memories won't control you. They just happen to be memories, an recallation of an event that happened in the past.

It's easier said than done.