I love food

So there's this thing about me with food. I love food. Especially those sweet and spicy stuffs. It's like, when I go anywhere, the smell that gets to me..not a perfume, but the smell of the food. Have you watch the movie Rattatouie (or whatever it's spelled, lazy to google) and when the rat describes how food is to it..the different tastes are like colors..and music put together.. makes a beautiful piece. In the cinema while watching the movie, I was like ''I KNOW RIGHT??!!'' ..

I've gained weight.

And no, not the 'clothes tight' kind of change. I entered a boutique a few days ago and I took my usual size 'M' to the dressing room..only to find out, it didn't fit. Came out took 'L' instead and tried, and it still didn't fit! I'm actually an XL waist up and an XXL waist down. Usually, this kind of thing wouldn't bother me much, because I'm all for ''it doesn't matter what you weigh, as long as you're healthy. And it's what on the inside that counts'' but..after I gained weight, everyone around me kept going ''what happened to you darsh?'' and ''Wow, you really gained A LOT of weight'' in a disapproving manner. It's alright if their intentions were to get me to get healthier, but they mean something else, like..I don't know.. I'm not pretty anymore.. (not to say I was before or anything).

So I'm now trying to loose weight.. So others would stop giving me disapproving glances or say something sarcastic like this other day when I pointed out a mini cooper to my dad and said ''That's so cute..I think I want one'' and he said ''You wouldn't fit in''.. Ha-ha dad.
Not funny.

But it's torturing. When you love food so much and ..you just can't eat.

I don't know how long I've to keep this up. There's BIG APPLE donuts in the fridge downstairs.
And right now, I'm thinking..

TO EAT..OR NOT TO EAT?

And that is the question. :/