How I Lost My Pencil

Okay, so I don't know 'how' exactly..and yes, I'm well aware this is not something you can make a tv show out of..but nonetheless, it's important. My pencil.

I was packing my bag ready to leave for cyberjaya when I had this 'feeling' and went I checked my pencil case, I realised my orange mechanical pencil was missing. All of a sudden I felt something overwhelming me.. I started searching frantically..in silence..paying attention to my heartbeat that was beating at a fast rate. My family realised that this was something important to me and they started searching too. The living room, stationary sets, everyone's pencil box, the rooms, the kitchen..even the bathrooms. But I couldn't find it.

In the car on the way back to cyber, I broke down crying. To think that I've lost my pencil for good. It was then that I realised it wasn't the pencil exactly that I was mourning about, it was everything that came with it. The memories.

I'm the kind of person that saves memories in objects. Everything I have is linked to a memory, a feeling..something that by just touching the object, I can remember everything sad, happy, bad..bittersweet moments that have occurred..with that object as a witness.

That pencil witnessed amazing memories. During my form 4 & 5. It witnessed my relationship with vivian, anna and phyllis..how we came to be..and how we broke. It witnessed those debate moments..the times we won and the times we lost. Those times we studied, researched..I used it during my SPM..it was there with me when I broke down crying because I was over-stressed. Those were the memories that came with it.

And to begin with, it isn't even my pencil. It's Vi's. I loved it and I bought a purple mechanical pencil..but it didn't share the same warmth the orange one did. So instead, vi took mine ..and I took hers.. The orange mechanical pencil. It became mine.

And now I've lost it.

But loosing this orange mechanical pencil taught me something. I shouldn't tie memories down to objects..what happens when an object goes missing? What happens to the memories that's tied to it.. Do they go missing too? Will you remember them? Or do they go forgotten..together with the object..buried in the grave. So it'll be safer..and better to store..to save them in my memory. Higher chances loosing an object than loosing your mind...right?

I need to get a new mechanical pencil.
I'm thinking..an orange one.